LIFE AS A VIETNAM “WIDOW”

Life as a wife, when your husband is flight overseas is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone! I rented an apartment in my hometown and settled down for the wait. I was pregnant, expecting our baby in December 1966. My father drove me to the hospital, and I had the baby in a large hospital ward on base at Hill Air Force Base, with only curtains to separate the patients. But I had notified the Red Cross and I did receive a five-minute phone call from him to see how I was doing.

When Ed returned from Vietnam, it was a big adjustment. Whenever Ed heard a loud sound, he’d hit the floor, whether he was on a couch, standing, or lying in bed. He was much more quiet and serious, and it took a while for him to become humorous and normal again.

On Ed’s second tour, I had two children and was expecting the third when he left. The anti-war climate was worse, and I learned later that one of the reasons the people in my apartment complex were so cold to me was because they were anti-war.

When I had my third child during Ed’s second tour of Vietnam, the Red Cross could not locate Ed—he was on a top-secret trip to Laos. I got no phone call, and got no letters from him for three weeks until after he’d returned from his top-secret trip. The first letter I received said, “I’m near the North Vietnam/Laos border where I’ve been on a mission.” It came on the day that the news of Operation Lam Son 719, a massive invasion of military troops and helicopters, was announced. Daily news recorded the many helicopters downed; I had no idea that Ed was back at his home base.

One incident that defines how tight a tightrope I walked. When Ed was one his first tour, one of the women that we met with as “War Wives” had her husband declared POW. I can remember as we dropped her at her home that night, there was an ominous blue Air force car parked at her house, waiting to deliver the news that would change her life. 

It was at Christmas time when I had my scare. I had an upstairs apartment that looked out on the street and I saw a blue Air Force car pull up in front of my apartment. I couldn’t see who got out, but a few minutes later, there was a knock at my door. I remember thinking, “What if I don’t answer the door. Maybe they will go away!” However, I finally did answer the door and it was a mailman delivering Christmas packages! They had so many packages to deliver that the Air Force had loaned them some of their cars to deliver packages. After he left a sat down with my back against the door and cried!