Bah Humbug to the Busy Christmas Season

         I know everyone loves the Christmas season; it is such a happy, time– “the most wonderful time of the year.” Most people have only good memories of this holiday.

Ed on our first Christmas 1963

         I guess I am a grinch. Many of my Christmases have been very hard and depressing. Not the Christmas day or even Christmas Eve, but the overwhelming Christmas season.

         Before I be stoned for denigrating the happiness of the Christmas season, let me explain why.

I have happy memories of my childhood Christmas memories, and even my early marriage years. But sometime after I had several children, and was so busy with daily activities, I realized that I was too swamped to enjoy all the added activities of the Christmas season. I had to decorate for Christmas, adorn a tree, and make new Christmas ornaments. I had to make endless Christmas cookies, candies, and treats. I had to take my children to all the Christmas programs, see the downtown  I was responsible to create Christmas letters, then address and send them with the Christmas cards.  I must get and deliver neighborhood gifts, then buy, and wrap all the Christmas gifts for the family.  School teachers, piano teachers, newspaper carriers, and my hairdresser must have a Christmas gift or tip. Even listing all of it makes me tired. I don’t even want to see Christmas movies or television shows—I just want to pretend it’s January.

lights and watch all the seasonal movies.

      Why not let your family help you do these endless chores? Some chores it worked with—making personal Christmas ornaments, decorating the tree and making the treats. But sometimes sharing the jobs made more work than doing it yourself.

      Why not cut back on all the “stuff”? That was my husband’s idea when I complained about everything I had to do. When I suggested he help, he said he didn’t think it needed to be done—why was I so compulsive about doing it? When asked if he would go shopping with the children to get their gifts, he said he didn’t have time—besides that was a woman’s job. (This was in the male chauvinist era of the 1960s, 1970s, and 1980s). However, he would get my gift and sometimes get extra gifts for himself since he wasn’t sure I was in a jolly-enough mood to get all he wanted.

        The other big dispute at my house was the BIG CHRISTMAS DINNER.  My husband had grownup with a tradition of having a big family dinner every Christmas day, with family from all around attending. It was bigger than Thanksgiving. My family tradition was a Danish/American blend—we would open one gift on Christmas Eve to satisfy my 1^st generation Danish mother, and then just enjoy Christmas day snacking and eating all the stuff in our Christmas stockings (I made sure to put in lots of fruits and healthy stuff). This did not meet my husband’s specifications at all. 

        We were in the military during the time, so no one from out of town would be attending—it would just be like a fancy Sunday dinner. I am sure I broke down and made a big Christmas dinner many years, but the one year that sticks out was when we invited friends and had a real feast—

however, I had scarlet fever and was so sick with a high fever that I couldn’t eat—but I still prepared, decorated, cooked the dinner and cleaned up afterward as sick as I was. I eventually developed post-streptococcus glomerular nephritis from it that damaged my kidneys and took years to recover from. Never again did my husband insists on a big holiday feast with friends and relatives.

        What has changed my attitude, now? Well, I have cut back. I am in my mid-70s with no little children, so I cut out a big Christmas tree; I don’t mail out Christmas cards anymore—sorry, no one wants to hear about their friends’

grandchildren and great-grandchildren when they can’t even keep track of their children. I give money to all but the smallest family members—mostly great-grandchildren, who I buy gifts for in November. I listen to Christmas music and remember that Christmas is about Christ, who came to save us all. I try to do little things when I can to let my neighbors and friends know I care about them—but the competition to see who can give the best neighborhood gift, or cook the best treats passes me by. I try to give gifts of service or give to charities or people who really need the help, rather than try for busiest and most headache-filled Christmas of the year!

        Christmas Eve is always the same as it has been—my favorite time of the season—to read the Christmas story from the Bible and talk about how Christ’s birth changed the world. I sometimes convince my family to don the New Testament Nativity costumes that I made years ago in my manic stage and reenact the first Christmas, but if we don’t, it’s okay.

       

I enjoy the Christmas season, now. I enjoy the time with family and friends, and I am most grateful for the best Christmas gift—the Savior.