ED'S EXPERIENCES IN VIETNAM

FIRST TOUR: BEARCAT

THE VIETNAMESE PEOPLE

The Vietnamese children were fascinated by helicopters. One time he flew a

  Vietnamese or American officer and had to land at a soccer field. A dozen or more children ran out onto the field and mobbed the helicopter and crew and wanted to touch and know everything about the chopper. When it was time to take off, officials had to restrain the kids so the helicopter could depart safely because the kids were so fascinated they didn’t want to let it go.

When he wasn’t flying, he sometimes went with the medical teams among the Vietnamese people on humanitarian missions as they treated and helped them. In that way Ed was able to see the countryside and the people and to learn about the country.

WORKING WITH OTHER BRANCHES OF THE SERVICE

Sometimes he escorted navy ships down river, and once he landed on a helipad on the ship. He communicated with the air traffic control onboard and they told him to land, and then the navy flagman came and was signaling to him with flags how to land. He couldn’t understand the flags, so he just landed anyway. The navy men always wanted to buy souvenirs from you, and would give you anything for them.

The helicopter pilots often worked with the jet pilots and sometimes traded flights with them. The jet pilots were fascinated to fly in helicopters so close to the action, while helicopter pilots loved to fly the F100s with all their power. Ed was able to fly in the F100 on a few flights with jet pilots and loved it.

Once he went to Cam Rhan Bay to get supplies for his unit. He brought the supplies back by ship, which was manned by Koreans. He was supposed to have his own food, not Korean food, so he obtained some boxes of steak and chicken from supply, and he shared that with the Koreans on the ship. They treated him like a king and gave him his own suite of rooms since they were so grateful for fresh meat. With the materials he brought back, they were able to make more buildings and improve the quarters at Bearcat. He escorted the supplies by truck from Saigon.

Ed Dayley’s Vietnam Experiences

DURING ED'S FIRST TOUR, Ed was stationed with the 9th Aviation Battalion, 9th Infantry Division at Bearcat, RVN (near Bien Hoa) 15 miles East of Saigon in the jungle From May 1967 to April 1968.

Bearcat was about 15 miles SE of Saigon

As a chief warrant officer, Ed was a gunship pilot, a property book officer, and as one of only four pilots certified to fly the OH23, he also flew reconnaissance flights occasionally. 

His introduction to the unit was very stressful. The pilot, who picked up Ed from division headquarters, introduced him around and showed him where to live was killed within a week of when Ed arrived. He had told Ed that whenever someone left the unit, you helped yourself to the stuff they left behind; Ed as the newest got all this pilot’s old stuff as they shipped him home in a casket.

The pilot had been shot in the head while flying at a low level. Since there were only 15 pilots in the unit, Ed felt the odds of coming home were not good. However, that pilot was the only one in their unit who died during Ed's tour.

Living conditions were pretty rough at Bearcat. They had just cleared out a bare spot in the jungle, and the dust was awful in the summer and the mud was worse in the monsoon season. The troops lived in large tents and slept in cots covered with mosquito netting.

Ed's living conditions were at least in a building, (Quonset hut) but after he became property book officer and moved to Battalion Headquarters, his living conditions became even better. But it seemed the dust still got into every crack and made everything so sandy that it was unbearable.

On one of Ed's assignments, Ed bartered for two rolls of Naugahyde vinyl and papered his room with it to make it air-tight. It was hotter then because the air couldn't blow through his room, but at least everything wasn't sandy and gritty. Later on in his tour, he was able to barter for an air conditioner for his room and he had it pretty good.

The only shower was a 250- gallon tank of water on a frame where you could open up the spout and wash under. There was an immersion heater you could light to heat it, but some-one had to turn it on; if no one turned it on by 3:00 pm, you did not have hot water when you got back to camp.

The heater was difficult to light and you often burned your face and eyebrows off when it was lit. One battalion officer whose office was near the tank would climb up and light it and he was everyone's friend for doing this.

MILITARY FRIENDS ARE LIKE FAMILY

When you are far from family, your fellow military wives become your family, especially when you’re overseas. The wives looked out after each other; if there was a deployment, the wives made sure everyone was taken care. It was drilled into me that the Army was my husband’s assignment, and in case of an emergency, deployment, (or actually any time), my husband’s job was to take care of his troops, and his wife was responsible for the kids, the house, and the wives of his troops. It was true!

While we were in Italy, we were taught to make an Emergency Evacuation kit with a set of

clothes, passports and medicines (kind of like an expanded 72-hour kit). If there was any emergency, our husbands would take care of the military situation, and we wives were to be evacuated with the kids—without any help. Luckily that never happened, but it had been drilled into me that I couldn’t depend on my husband at any time. Not his fault, they would say, his job is the Army and mine is the family.

An experience stands out in my mind while we were stationed in Italy and Ed was operations officer for Southern Europe. Ed was notified at 3:00 a.m. in the morning that something had happened and went into the operation center; he couldn’t tell me anything about what was going on. I turned on the Italian radio to try to figure what had happened. I finally got a news station that said (as far as I could translate in my poor Italian), “It’s just like Nagasaki and Hiroshima!” When Ed came back home and packed to fly to Greece, he still couldn’t say anything!

Later that day, the American news reported “On April 14, 1986, the United States launches air strikes against Libya in retaliation for the Libyan sponsorship of terrorism against American troops and citizens. The raid, which began shortly before 7 p.m. EST (2 a.m., April 15 in Libya), involved more than 100 U.S. Air Force and Navy aircraft, and was over within an hour.”

Later that day, Libyan patrol boats fired missiles at a U.S. Navy communications station on

the Italian island of Lamedusa, but the missiles fell short.  All I could think of was Ed flying over the Mediterranean, and what else Libya would do to Americans in Italy.

Italians protested the American bombing, and when Marc walked to school, Italians yelled at him and called him bad names, knowing he was an American. He turned up his Walkman and played loudly:

“And I'm proud to be an American
“Where at least I know I'm free
“And I won't forget the men who died
“Who gave that right to me

“And I gladly stand up
“Next to you and defend her still today
“Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land
“God bless the USA”

 Life was very interesting for a while, with protests outside the base, and all students were bused to school with armed guards. On Sunday, a little old Italian lady spit at Diana who was a child and called her a “dirty American.” Even American missionaries had to stay inside and take off their name badges to prevent problems. I was alone with the kids, "holding down the fort," while Ed was in Greece.

 I can’t recall how many times I relied on friends, who were as close as family. When I was really sick, a friend took me to the ER. When the kids at mumps and I had to be at a stake Primary meeting an hour away, Ed was TDY in Texas--I had to handle the situation. When I had my last baby, friends got me to the hospital. 

Ed's assignment at Ft. Hood was the worst because it was the First Cavalry Division, and

one of the first groups to be sent anywhere in the world with a problem. I can’t recall the times he would get a phone call, and be gone—he couldn’t even tell me where he was going.

Also, as a pilot, he flew places. That was his job. Therefore, like so many business wives, I learned to take care of myself and the children, and never plan on my husband being there to help. He was when he could be, but I couldn’t depend upon it. That was the life of a military wife!

MORE TALES OF A MILITARY WIFE

WHAT AN ARMY WIFE WORE

It was the 60s and 70s, so I must convey The Army Wife’s suggestion: “[gloves] should definitely be worn when calling or attending any social function.[i]” At a formal reception, “As you enter the room, make up your mind whether or not you intend to remove your right glove so the act will be completed before you reach the receiving line. I always feel it is a more friendly gesture to offer a bare hand, but this is an entirely personal decision. Remember you can even sleep with your gloves on, but do take them off to eat.[ii]”

Me at Ed's flight school graduation

Hats were mandatory, whether at a parade, a review, a reception or a tea. In fact, when Ed graduated from flight school, it was compulsory to wear a hat and gloves to the graduation. I also wore a hat and gloves to all the class graduations that Ed taught.

PERMANENT CHANGE OF STATION

We were not planning on staying in the army beyond our first four years (the end of Ed’s Ft. Walter’s assignment), but life always predictable. Whenever they asked what it would take to make Ed make the army a career, Ed said if they could get him a first lieutenant’s rank as a Regular Army Officer (which is far more permanent and difficult to obtain). At our farewell party, his commander came over and gave him the phone and Ed learned that it had been authorized to meet his demands. He couldn’t very well back out, so Ed became an officer and went back to Vietnam! And I went home to find a small apartment.

One of the basic rules of Army Life is that military officers are never available whenever you need them, especially during a move. The army does provide a professional moving van (with weight limits), whenever you were transferred. There were a lot of things they would pack, but if you packed anything yourself, they marked it was packed by you, and wasn’t covered by the insurance.  So, on moving day, I was always holding onto the inventory to make sure they have tagged anything that is going in the van, watching all the packing, loading, moving that was going on, as well as watching the kids so they didn’t get packed, too. Usually I farmed the kids out so I could concentrate on the moving. But it was rare that my husband was available for the moving day.

Our worst experience was when we were transferred to the Big Island of Hawaii, and all our goods were sent in huge cargo containers. During the move, a big forklift missed and ripped the top of the container open and everything in that area was destroyed, and had to be

replaced.

The second worse experience was when we were moving to Italy, and much of our furniture was going into storage. It was a torrential rainstorm when they were loading the boxes into the truck and everything got wet! I called and explained it would be in storage for three years and would become moldy and they repacked our stuff and everything was okay!

My most memorable moving day was when we were moving from Chicago. I had an 18-month-old toddler and his babysitter had brought him back home later in the afternoon of moving day. While the moving was going on, he fell and needed stitches! With no husband in sight, I had to call on a friend to take over the moving.

---

[i] The Army Wife, Nancy Shea, Harper & Row Publishers, Inc., Fourth Edition, 1966, NY, NY. page

 56

[ii] Ibid, page 289

WHAT IT MEANS TO BE AN OFFICER’S WIFE

Ed as new TAC Officer

Ed’s assignment after Vietnam was at Ft. Walters as a TAC officer, training young flight students. Since at the end of their training, the soldiers would be officers, there was a lot of officer training involved. Things hade lightened up and more wives had joined their husbands there than when Ed went through, so I had a new calling—training the wives who were there to adjust to the army and life as an officer’s wife.

I received a book, The Army Wife, by Nancy Shea, and I began my indoctrination, along with those wives whose husbands were being trained by my husband. It said, “Every Army wife has three basic responsibilities:

1.   

My Army Bible

“To make a congenial home.

2.    “To rear a family of which he will be proud.

3.    “To strengthen her husband’s morale.”[i]

An officer’s wife, in addition to the above responsibilities must also, “promote morale and spirit. . . calling on the bride or newcomer by setting up a roster. . . arrange get-togethers for the officer’s wives. These social functions may take the form of coffees or teas.[ii]”

In fact, the officer’s wife’s responsibility is to take care of all the wives of the soldiers your husband commands. Since my husband was training the husbands to be officers, I learned early that it meant that I had to train the new wives what to do, and get to know all the wives of the troops under my husband’s command.

COFFEES, TEAS AND ENTERTAINING

I learned about formal calling cards (which I purchased) and the archaic use of this 1800s custom. On my calling card, I was not Beth Dayley, but Mrs. Edward Dayley. I also received a little silver tray to hold the cards. 

I learned that formal Teas had a lot of etiquette involved.

“The tea table, with a silver tea service at one end and a coffee service at the other, will be presided over by a close friend of the hostess or the ranking officer’s wife.[iii]” I learned that there is a distinct precedent over who serves the tea and coffee and for how long (usually not more than 15 minutes), but it is done by rank, from the highest-ranking officer’s wife through the ranks. This was a big thing! A mistake could ruin your life, or so they said.

Ed & I at reception (on left); notice gloves in lady's hand

“All guests converse with one another, whether they have been introduced or not.[iv]”I learned this not from a tea, but from a formal party we went to. I am very shy, and didn’t want to mingle. Ed gave me an assignment, “Before you can come back and talk to me, you must talk to three other people. Ask about their lives, their children, but no army stuff.” So, off I went; whenever I had fulfilled that assignment, he would give me another three-person assignment. I learned to mingle, despite myself!

A formal tea was a delicate event

When Ed became a company commander, I found the Tea situation very delicate. I don’t drink tea or coffee, nor did I have a silver tea or coffee. So, I would ask one of the lieutenant’s wives to bring tea or coffee and use their silver services. This upset Ed’s battalion commander’s wife, who thought I was being a bad example. Therefore, our farewell gift from the battalion was a beautiful silver and glass carafe that I could elegantly serve tea or coffee in!

My silver & glass carafe

---

[i] The Army Wife, Nancy Shea, Harper & Row Publishers, Inc., Fourth Edition, 1966, NY, NY. page 7.

[ii] Ibid, page 9.

[iii] Ibid, page 155

[iv] Ibid, page 154

LIFE AS A VIETNAM “WIDOW”

Life as a wife, when your husband is flight overseas is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone! I rented an apartment in my hometown and settled down for the wait. I was pregnant, expecting our baby in December 1966. My father drove me to the hospital, and I had the baby in a large hospital ward on base at Hill Air Force Base, with only curtains to separate the patients. But I had notified the Red Cross and I did receive a five-minute phone call from him to see how I was doing.

When Ed returned from Vietnam, it was a big adjustment. Whenever Ed heard a loud sound, he’d hit the floor, whether he was on a couch, standing, or lying in bed. He was much more quiet and serious, and it took a while for him to become humorous and normal again.

On Ed’s second tour, I had two children and was expecting the third when he left. The anti-war climate was worse, and I learned later that one of the reasons the people in my apartment complex were so cold to me was because they were anti-war.

When I had my third child during Ed’s second tour of Vietnam, the Red Cross could not locate Ed—he was on a top-secret trip to Laos. I got no phone call, and got no letters from him for three weeks until after he’d returned from his top-secret trip. The first letter I received said, “I’m near the North Vietnam/Laos border where I’ve been on a mission.” It came on the day that the news of Operation Lam Son 719, a massive invasion of military troops and helicopters, was announced. Daily news recorded the many helicopters downed; I had no idea that Ed was back at his home base.

One incident that defines how tight a tightrope I walked. When Ed was one his first tour, one of the women that we met with as “War Wives” had her husband declared POW. I can remember as we dropped her at her home that night, there was an ominous blue Air force car parked at her house, waiting to deliver the news that would change her life. 

It was at Christmas time when I had my scare. I had an upstairs apartment that looked out on the street and I saw a blue Air Force car pull up in front of my apartment. I couldn’t see who got out, but a few minutes later, there was a knock at my door. I remember thinking, “What if I don’t answer the door. Maybe they will go away!” However, I finally did answer the door and it was a mailman delivering Christmas packages! They had so many packages to deliver that the Air Force had loaned them some of their cars to deliver packages. After he left a sat down with my back against the door and cried! 

THE LIFE OF A MILITARY WIFE

We just celebrated National Vietnam Veteran Day, and they asked the soldiers to submit their stories of what it was like to be a soldier in Vietnam. Since too many people will do that, I’m going to explain what it was like to be the wife of a Vietnam soldier who made the military life his career. For 23 years, I followed the drum with my husband, Ed, except for the two tours he served in Vietnam.

MY INTRODUCTION TO ARMY LIFE

My first introduction to the army was rather rude. He finished basic training and went to Ft. Walters, Texas for nine months of flight training in the helicopter. His orders there stated: “automotive vehicles and wives are not authorized for this assignment.”

I did not like being classified with an automotive vehicle, so after he had soloed, three

months into his course, I joined him with all the things I could fit into a car. It reminded me of the pioneers who put their lives’ belongings into a wagon to head west, except I know I had lots more than they did. My father and uncle drove me down, and then my dad went back in my uncle’s car, which I have always appreciated.

My husband had to stay in the barracks, so I got a small apartment on the base. He could see me on Wednesday night for two hours and from Saturday afternoon until Sunday night. That was all!!! If I wasn’t there at the base on those visiting times, I didn’t see him.

 I only missed seeing him once; I had a miscarriage at the end of Ed’s flight training in Texas and was hospitalized. The hospital contacted Ed’s unit, but the TAC officer never let Ed know where I was until after his visiting hours were over; Ed never knew why I hadn’t come. After the TAC officer told Ed where I was, he wouldn’t release him to go to the hospital and visit me. It wasn’t until Saturday afternoon he could find out exactly what had happened and how I was. Phone calls were not allowed!

When we transferred to Ft. Rucker, Alabama for the last period of the flight training, life was much better—we could live together in a trailer. But our Christmas present that year was his orders to Vietnam when he had completed training.