Snorkeling

I love to snorkel and fortunately had the opportunity to snorkel in some of the best places in the world.

Marlowe, Athena, Beth & Marc at Guaymas, Mexico

I had learned to snorkel on the Baja Coast of Mexico over 43 years ago in the early 1970s. Our family had lived in El Paso and driven down through the Mexico coast on vacation. One of our stops was at Guaymas, in Sonora state in northwest Mexico. We loved the beautiful beach where the movie “Catch 22” was filmed. Ed and I took turns snorkeling since we had three small children and one of us had to watch them while the other snorkeled.

The most memorable thing that happened there was that Ed saw an electric eel while out snorkeling, and decided to chase it. People kept yelling things to him in Spanish, but he didn’t understand so he just ignored it. Finally, one young lady swam out and explained to him that it was an electrical eel and very dangerous. He came back to shore.

Another interesting experience there was dinner one day. I had packed lunches for us, but a Mexican family was making home-made enchiladas over an open fire on the beach. Our oldest son, Marlowe somehow began talking to them (he knew a little Spanish from attending El Paso’s bi-lingual school. They offered to share food with us so we ate the very best enchiladas I have ever tasted, and they got to eat our bologna sandwiches. We definitely got the best end of the deal.

I remember thinking of Robert Frost’s poem as I snorkeled and saw all the wonderful sea creatures; I adapted it to my situation.

“The ocean’s lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And children resting on the beach,

And children resting on the beach.”

I really learned to snorkel when we lived on the big island of Hawaii, during the last years of the 1970s. We lived on the rainy side of the island near Hilo, but it was a short trip across the volcano road to the Kona side of the island.

Marc & Marlowe at Beach 69, Kona Hawaii

Our favorite beach was “Beach 69.” There was a telephone pole on the highway with the mile marker “69” on it, and if you turned off the road where the telephone pole was, it would lead you to a beautiful secluded cove perfect for snorkeling. Waialea beach is the official name of it and it is one of the most popular white sand beaches on the Big Island. There is a rich variety of marine life to sea, and plenty of coral around the rocky areas of the bay. There is no life guard on duty, but there are showers, covered picnic tables, and restrooms.

Diana in Kona, Hawaii 1979

My husband Ed more scuba dived, than snorkeled, diving deep to pick up items on the ocean floor. I just loved to drift watching all the varieties of fish. Once some people ran into a jellyfish which stung them, and we used our baby’s wet diaper to ease the sting.

I don’t swim well, so I always worried about my children going out too far, and once my youngest son, Marc, went out too far, but someone noticed him, and before my husband could get out to him, they had rescued him.

With four children, including a baby who was six months old when we arrived in Hawaii, Ed

Cleaning off snorkeling equipment in Hawaii

and I had to take turns snorkeling and watching the kids.

Another memorable time was when I took the children over to the beach to celebrate Pioneer’s Day (24^th of July), the day the pioneers entered the great Salt Lake valley in Utah. I thought it would be a fun excursion, and we made pancakes, but they ended up being sandy from the blowing sand. But it was still a fun time.

My last time snorkeling (to this time) was when I took my two grandchildren, Jenni, 18 years old, and James, her brother, 21 years old on a vacation to Guanacaste, Costa Rica in august 2016. We stayed at Playa del Coco beach where our resort hotel offered a snorkeling tour which we took.

My grandson, James, shows pufferfish in Costa Rica

We drove out to the big rocks in the bay and snorkeled around it. I was in my early 70s and although I wore a safety vest so I couldn’t sink, I wasn’t as strong as I remembered, but I saw some interesting fish. The guide showed us a pufferfish and a spiked pufferfish while we were out in the bay. My grandson, a much stronger swimmer than I kept finding me and checking up on me.

A Spiked pufferfish

Later the boat took us to a secluded beach where we could snorkel in shallow water and find shells. 

Snorkeling is just as fun now as it was 45 years ago. 

Two Graduations—a World Apart!

When I graduated from high school, I didn’t want to go to the ceremony. I was so glad to be through that I just wanted it over with. Although I went, it was a chore and not a joy.

When I graduated from college, 20+ years later, I was so excited that I was determined to go my college graduation despite all the obstacles that made it difficult.

I graduated from the University of Maryland, European Division, we were living in Vicenza,

Vicenza, Italy where we lived

Italy, where my husband, Ed, was assigned as head of security at an army base there. I had four children and was expecting my fifth child in my mid-forties. My husband had been critically ill and was at the hospital at Landstuhl Air Force Base, Germany where he’d been recovering from Osteomyelitis. If I went to my graduation, I’d have to drive myself 521 miles (838 km) through Italy, Austria and Germany to Heidelberg, Germany where the graduation ceremony was to be held. My oldest son was in college at Utah State, and my two younger teens could not by law drive in Europe. My 8-year-old would have to be left with someone while I was gone. But I was determined to go!

 

I had loved all my classes in Vicenza, Spain, Paris while I worked on my degree in English. Although I had taken college classes at Utah State University, University of Utah, University of Texas, Troy State College and University of Nebraska, and had my associate degree, it hadn’t been until we arrived in Italy, that I’d been able to complete my degree. It had been so fun to take classes in the evenings there. I took several Italian history classes where we’d studied different cities in Italy during the week and then drove to the cities on Saturday to see their art, culture and history. It was one of my favorite classes.

 

I also loved my Italian classes where I learned to speak Italian and practiced in my daily life. It seemed ironic that I’d waited until my children were all in school before I finished my degree, then I ended up taking night classes!

 

We lived 45 minutes by train from Venice so I took several Venetian history classes as well as “expatriate writers in Venice and Paris” where we actually visited the sites where their books were written.

I loved getting my education in Europe far more than if I’d gotten my school in four years back in the states. One of the really neat things was that my mentor, advisor and friend was Donna Leon, a professor who was living in Venice and writing books on the side. She later became famous for her Commissario Guido Brunetti mysteries which take place in Venice. She has written 25 books (as of 2016), and had 20 of them made into a German TV series. She won the Crime Writers' Association Silver Dagger in 2000, and her novels have been translated into many languages, but not Italian at her request.

Landstuhl AFB hospital

During my last year of school, my husband had become ill and spent months in Germany where they tried to heal him, but he returned to Vicenza in between hospitalizations. For spring break we took the family to Paris, but afterwards he relapsed and was sent back to Germany hospitals. (Eventually he would spend more time at Walter Reed Hospital, in Maryland before they determined how to fix him.

We were very optimistic about his recovery when my 

graduation ceremony arrived, so I decided to drive up to Landstuhl, Germany, pick him up and we’d go to my graduation in Heidelberg, then drive home. The only problem was that I hated to drive and was afraid to drive across Europe by myself. Finally, my 15-year-old son decided he would go with me, we would pick up Ed in Kaiserslautern, the city where Landstuhl Air Force Base was, Ed would drop Marc off at the train station in Mannheim so he could get back home to Vicenza for his High School prom.

After we dropped Marc off in Mannheim (the 8^th largest metropolitan area in Germany), Ed and I would drive to Heidelberg, where I would graduate. It was the 600^th anniversary of the founding of Heidelberg University (the oldest university in Europe, established in 1386), and the faculty of the University of Maryland had planned wonderful entertainment for the graduates, including a cruise along the Rhine River.

I will never forget the road trip to Landstuhl AFB. It seemed to rain continually, and I worried getting lost while driving on the Autobahn, Germany’s federal highway, which has no federally mandated speed limits for 52% of its roads. It was supposed to take around eight and a half hours (I wondered how fast you had to drive to get there in that length of time). It, of course took me longer. In other words, it was a nightmare.

I was so grateful to have my son, Marc, along as navigator as I didn’t remember my 23-years ago German classes I’d taken in college.

But we arrived, picked up my husband and dropped Marc off at the train station. (Is it child

Where I graduated

neglect now to let a 15-year-old travel alone through three European countries by himself? But he was far more streetwise than I was.)

Later we heard that the prom Marc and my older daughter Athena attended in Vicenza was wonderful, and they loved it. I also loved my graduation, with my husband by my side as we took our cruise, attended all the festivities, and I finally graduated magna cum laud to get my B. A. in English.  It was worth all the effort.

Athena & Marc at their prom

Me at Graduation

What’s in My Travel Bag for my Adventure through Life

Whenever you go on a trip, you pack all the things you think you’ll need while you are away from home. Let me tell you what I have in my travel bag for my earthly travel—away from my real home in heaven.

DESTINATION & GOALS: Before you can begin your travel then, you must decide on a destination—in our case, to return to our Heavenly Father. Not only do you need a final destination, such as “Return to God,” you must also plan for the intermediate points on your way to there, such as our covenants--baptism, confirmation, temple, faithfulness, etc. Our personal plan to Exaltation tells us where to go.

MAP YOUR JOURNEY:  Maps can help us reach our intermediate goals, as well as plan the long range trip. It is important to have a map of where you are going, and how to get there. The scriptures, the prophets, the church, education are our maps.

PREPARATION;  Once you’ve decided where to go and how to get there, preparation is essential. Having a destination, having maps helps us plan each portion of our journey. But we must prepare so we don’t get confused or miss scheduled points along the way.

I like to plan very detailed plans whenever I travel. On a trip to Denmark, England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland that Ed & I went on, I had a loose leaf notebook that had pockets. Each day’s agenda had all the tickets, plans, times, reservations and receipts for that day’s activities. It also had a list of other activities we could do in the area if my husband wanted to vary the plans. That way I did not have to search through everything to find all the information I needed for each day.

RESEARCH WHERE YOU WANT TO GO:  Not everyone needs to plan as detailed as I like to—my husband loved to “Travel by the Seat of His Pants,” and decide each day what to do, so whenever we traveled, I had already researched and had information about each area so he could be spontaneous. Education, both temporal and spiritual helps us be prepared for all contingencies along the way. Knowledge helps us meet life’s challenges.

GOALS:  Our life’s plan should be as detailed or loose as we each prefer, but it is important to plan ahead for our goals—to go to college, go on a mission, marry in the temple, retire at age 65, get skills and training to do the work you like, or you’ll discover years later that you missed your opportunities because you were so busy living life that you hadn’t set goals. Dedication and perseverance to achieve our goals are our intermediate smaller stops along our trip. Enduring to the End--Our dedication to them, help us achieve our final destination.

FLASHLIGHT:  I always put a flashlight in my travel bag. The path here on earth is difficult and many signposts are indistinct, or outright false.  At times we may find it difficult to interpret the maps, and the path may become dim, our way unclear. We may become lost and uncertain of the trail. We may reach a dead end or a one-way street when we need to go the other way. A flashlight is for those dark, gloomy times when I can’t see my way, and need the assistance of something more than my mortal eyes. The gospel is my flashlight; it allows me to see the eternal perspective, and not just the few feet (or years) ahead of me that the life often does.

CAMERA & TRAVEL LOG:  Make sure you have a camera and a make a log as you travel, so you can share your journey with others. A personal journal helps us remember our successes and failures, and learn from them.

GPS:  I can’t imagine traveling without a GPS to help me find my way through the maze of this world. The Holy Ghost and our faithfulness to access it is invaluable.

   

   The GPS gives guidance in a calm way, and never gets yells at us or get angry when we go the wrong way.

       When we make a wrong turn, The GPS continues to direct us how to get back on track. It does not nag or blame.

        If we miscalculate and misdirect the GPS, so it keeps reminding us to go the wrong way, it is easy to get irritated and “shut off” the GPS. When the spirit and others we love try to direct us back to the correct path which we’ve strayed from, we often become irritated, and eventually “shut them out.”

      When we turn off the GPS or are in an underground garage where the satellite signal can’t reach us, when we turn it back on, it doesn’t automatically bounce back up immediately. It must find the signal. When we turn off the spirit, we must work hard to regain the signal and get its guidance back.

       I don’t like how the GPS rarely shows us the whole picture of our journey. It will only show us what lies along the way, and to the next marker, whether it is 8 miles or 80 miles further along our trip. The Holy Ghost does not show us the whole plan of our eternal journey, but we see our progress only step by step.

       Lastly, the GPS needs power to help us navigate our personal path through life, just as our spiritual communication needs power—faithfulness, worthiness of the spirit, keeping covenants helps power our spiritual GPS. 

 But despite our wonderful personal GPS, all our plans, goals, education, preparation, maps, we alone determine where we go and where we end up. The GPS (Holy Ghost) can only guide—it cannot control our destination. We are the drivers of our destiny.

Ranting and Raving about Neurological Disorders

There is a program on TV this season called Limitless, whose premise is that a man can take a pill and unleash far greater intellectual knowledge than normally possible. His mind can function limitlessly. There are tremendous downsides to this treatment, though, and how to deal with them is a great story. http://www.cbs.com/shows/limitless/

Unfortunately, there is no “limitless” pill today, but as I look back on my family’s history of a number of neurological disorders, including depression, ADHD, ADD and Anxiety Disorders, I think how some of the treatments for these may seem like that “limitless pill.”

Today there are many medications that I think act somewhat like this miracle pill, and yet there is controversy over whether to take them or not. I’m referring to treatments for ADHD, ADD, Anxiety Attacks, and all the mental illnesses. The medications (magic pills) used don’t make a person smarter, but they correct neurological imbalances in the brain so the individuals can overcome the deficiencies that cause the problem.

Not only medications are used to treat these illnesses; there are also psychological treatments and other training that can try to help individuals overcome these neurological problems. How great it is that we live in a day when we can get help for neurological conditions that in the past were often ignored.

 

DEPRESSIVE DISORDERS

I have suffered with clinical depression for over almost 30 years.  The medication to control this doesn’t make me feel happy all the time, or not allow me to feel sadness—it just makes me normal--to feel normal emotions at normal times, without the chemical imbalance skewing the situation.

I recall the moment I realized just how bad my depression was; I was driving and stopped at a light and some young people laughing and talking walked by in front of me. I remember thinking that I couldn’t imagine laughing at anything—it was literally beyond my comprehension at that time. It was like a bell went off in my head and I realized that I wasn’t just discouraged—I was mentally ill, if I couldn’t imagine laughing. That was the point when I sought treatment for my ailment.

(In discussing the following disorders, I am taking their descriptions from the government’s National Institute for Mental Illness’ website to be as accurate as possible.)

  

Depressive Disorders: “Everyone occasionally feels blue or sad. But these feelings are usually short-lived and pass within a couple of days. When you have depression, it interferes with daily life and causes pain for both you and those who care about you. Depression is a common but serious illness.[1]” [In this article, I am discussing only Major Depression, and not the other disorders, including Persistent depressive disorder, Psychotic depression, Postpartum depression, Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and Bipolar disorder because I haven’t had experience dealing with these.]

“Depressive illnesses are disorders of the brain. Brain-imaging technologies, such as

magnetic resonance imaging (MRI), have shown that the brains of people who have depression look different than those of people without depression. The parts of the brain involved in mood, thinking, sleep, appetite, and behavior appear different. But these images do not reveal why the depression has occurred. They also cannot be used to diagnose depression.[2]”

What are the signs and symptoms of depression? “People with depressive illnesses do not all experience the same symptoms. The severity, frequency, and duration of symptoms vary depending on the individual and his or her particular illness.

“Signs and symptoms include:

·         Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings

·         Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism

·         Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness

·         Irritability, restlessness

·         Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex

·         Fatigue and decreased energy

·         Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions

·         Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping

·         Overeating, or appetite loss

·         Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

·         Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment.[3]”

My paternal grandmother had what I think today would be diagnosed as depression. However, not much was known enough about these disorders then, and for a number of years she was in bed. No one ever knew what was wrong with her—she was just too sick to function.

ADHD/ADD

When my child who suffers from ADD was born, I thought that if only I was a better parent, he would act like a normal child and not have any of the symptoms which I later learned were that of Attentive Disorder. Now that I have grandchildren with ADHD or ADD, I understand that my parenting style may not have been as important as I thought.

ADHD (or as these are often called, Inattentive disorder). “Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is one of the most common childhood disorders and can continue through adolescence and adulthood. Symptoms include difficulty staying focused and paying attention, difficulty controlling behavior, and hyperactivity (over-activity).

·         “Predominantly hyperactive-impulsive

o   Most symptoms (six or more) are in the hyperactivity-impulsivity categories.

o   Fewer than six symptoms of inattention are present, although inattention may still be present to some degree

.

·         “Predominantly inattentive

o   The majority of symptoms (six or more) are in the inattention category and fewer than six symptoms of hyperactivity-impulsivity are present, although hyperactivity-impulsivity may still be present to some degree.

o   Children with this subtype are less likely to act out or have difficulties getting along with other children. They may sit quietly, but they are not paying attention to what they are doing. Therefore, the child may be overlooked, and parents and teachers may not notice that he or she has ADHD.

·         “Combined hyperactive-impulsive and inattentive

o   Six or more symptoms of inattention and six or more symptoms of hyperactivity-impulsivity are present.

o   Most children have the combined type of ADHD.”[4] 

These may be actions we all have at times, but in the person with ADHD, these are constant problems.

One might have a little ADD, and never be diagnosed, or have a lot of ADD and not be able to adapt to school at all. But it all cases, something short-circuits the focus of the individual, so their mind cannot complete normal tasks in a normal way.

I have family members with ADD, and for some, the right medication can be like the drug in the TV series, Limitless. Their mind suddenly functions correctly. In others, cognitive training can help overcome this disability.

Dealing with family members with ADD is like an analogy someone once used for having a child with Down’s Syndrome; you think you are arriving in England, but instead you are in the Netherlands. Your life is just different than you expected—not worse, just different. 

As a mother of a child with ADD, a constant feeling was that of frustration—but it was like trying to expect a child to change the color of their eyes. They are who they are—many are more intelligent and more creative than others without the disorder, but they have handicaps they have to overcome to succeed.

Whenever I think about how hard it is for a person with ADD to think or work, I recall that whenever I have a migraine, I can’t think straight (or walk straight—I am very unbalanced). I can’t think of common words to explain things; it is like my mind is frozen. So although I don’t have ADD, I can empathize with those who can’t focus or think when their ADD is bad. I am sure it is similar to when I have a migraine and getting frustrated trying to think or do things, that only makes it worse.

ANXIETY DISORDER

I think my family taught us to worry ourselves sick about everything. If we were late coming home, my father was sure we had been in an accident. If I felt sick, he was sure I had a fatal illness. I always thought it was a trained behavior, but if it becomes bad enough, it can become Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD).

Anxiety disorder: “Occasional anxiety is a normal part of life. You might feel anxious when faced with a problem at work, before taking a test, or making an important decision. Anxiety disorders involve more than temporary worry or fear. For a person with an anxiety disorder, the anxiety does not go away and can get worse over time. These feelings can interfere with daily activities such as job performance, school work, and relationships.[5]”

“While some symptoms, such as fear and worry, occur in all anxiety disorders, each disorder also has distinctive symptoms.

•  Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
•  Panic Disorder
•  Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia)[6]”

NIMH, National Institute of Mental Health explains about each type of disorder:

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD): “All of us worry about things like health, money, or family problems. But people with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) are extremely worried about these and many other things, even when there is little or no reason to worry about them. They are very anxious about just getting through the day. They think things will always go badly. At times, worrying keeps people with GAD from doing everyday tasks.[7]”

“Panic Disorder: “People with social phobia tend to:

·         Be very anxious about being with other people and have a hard time talking to them, even though they wish they could

·         Be very self-conscious in front of other people and feel embarrassed

·         Be very afraid that other people will judge them

·         Worry for days or weeks before an event where other people will be

·         Stay away from places where there are other people

·         Have a hard time making friends and keeping friends

·         Blush, sweat, or tremble around other people

·         Feel nauseous or sick to their stomach when with other people.[8]”

Social Phobia (Social Anxiety Disorder): “People with social phobia tend to:

• Be very anxious about being with other people and have a hard time talking to them, even though they wish they could
•  Be very self-conscious in front of other people and feel embarrassed
• Be very afraid that other people will judge them
• Worry for days or weeks before an event where other people will be
•  Stay away from places where there are other people
• Have a hard time making friends and keeping friends
• Blush, sweat, or tremble around other people
• Feel nauseous or sick to their stomach when with other people.[9]”

My maternal grandmother developed what we would call “Social Phobia,” as she grew older. She found it difficult to be in social situations, including church, which she normally loved to attend. My aunt explained that as much as Grandmother enjoyed going to church, she would become anxious, to the point of illness, when she attended.

“The study results also attach numbers to molecular evidence documenting the importance of heritability traceable to common genetic variation in causing these five major mental illnesses. Yet this still leaves much of the likely inherited genetic contribution to the disorders unexplained – not to mention non-inherited genetic factors. For example, common genetic variation accounted for 23 percent of schizophrenia, but evidence from twin and family studies estimate its total heritability at 81 percent. Similarly, the gaps are 25 percent vs. 75 percent for bipolar disorder, 28 percent vs. 75 percent for ADHD, 14 percent vs. 80 percent for autism, and 21 percent vs. 37 percent for depression.

“It is encouraging that the estimates of genetic contributions to mental disorders trace those from more traditional family and twin studies. The study points to a future of active gene discovery for mental disorders” said Thomas Lehner, Ph.D., chief of the NIMH Genomics Research Branch, which funds the project.[10]”

But I am encouraged by the fact that we live in a day and age when these common disorders can be diagnosed and relief can often be achieved. Unlike my paternal grandmother with depression and my maternal grandmother with social phobia, today there is help—medication, therapy, psychological training that can help us deal with these problems and allow the individuals so afflicted to live more normally.

Unfortunately, there is no “Limitless” pill that can make our minds work at miracle speed today. But I look forward to the next life when our minds will function limitlessly and looking back on our temporal minds’ limits will make us laugh. Until then, I will rely on what help is available, and be grateful that we have it.

  

---

[1] http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/ “Depression”

[2] Ibid. “Depression”

[3] Ibid., “Anxiety disorders”

[4] Ibid., “Attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd”

[5] http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/anxiety-disorders/ ”What are Anxiety Disorders”

[6] Ibid: “Signs and Symptoms”

[7] Ibid. “Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)”

[8] Ibid. “Panic Disorders”

[9] Ibid. “Social Phobia (Social Anxiety Disorder.”

[10] Ibid., New Data Reveal Extent of Genetic Overlap Between Major Mental Disorders