“Where Did I Put That?”

As we age, we tend to lose things more than before, but I began to lose things years ago. Maybe that’s because I began to lose my mind years ago.

I still get frustrated when I can’t find something—especially if I have just put it down. One

thing I always lose are my glasses. Therefore I have decided to put them in a special place on my china case, which is right inside our house, whether you come in from the upstairs or downstairs. However they still go missing.

Before we had to move to Los Angeles for nine months a few years ago I made a master plan of my house, put alphabetic stickers on everything which could hold anything (where it couldn’t be seen) and made a map with matching alphabetic keys which told what was in each storage area. I thought then I could remember what was in each storage area while I was gone. Then if I needed something, I could call my son who was living in the house and say, “Send me the ___________ which is the drawer labeled “EE” in my dressing room.

It worked well enough until I lost the map with the key.

When I got back, I started rearranging things and there went my plan. I found most of the time I can’t find stuff is right after I’ve gone through stuff, gotten rid of stuff and reorganized things. (There, family, I do go through and get rid of things—you thought I never did.)

For the first while after I’ve rearranged things, I can’t remember where the new thing belongs!!!

I have decided there are four reasons things disappear in my house:

1. My youngest son: He hides them to frustrate me. No, he is not a child—he is 27 years old, but he likes to tease me and move my glasses or purse just to see how frustrated I can get. I admit this isn’t often, but it does happen.

• The worst thing he did was not on purpose. We had gone to L. A. for medical reasons and I’d stopped the mail and paper so he wouldn’t have to deal with it. My husband ended up in the hospital and we stayed 10 days longer than we’d planned so I called and told him to put the mail in a pile on the kitchen table.
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• We came home, I went through the mail and paid the bills. The next month I got dunned for a bill I hadn’t seen the while we were gone. I asked my son about it, and he led me to another stash of mail that hadn’t made it out of the basement and was buried under his clothes. It contained the bill I hadn’t paid.
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• The worst thing he claimed wasn't his fault at all. He was borrowing my laptop at night when I was using it during the day at the hospital while my husband was hospitalized. One morning I was in a rush to go to the hospital and I could find the laptop in one place, the power cord in another and no sign of the cord. He'd already gone to work and I couldn't reach him. 
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• I texted him, "where is my mouse?" and left for the hospital. When I got to the hospital I got his text, "It is on top of the cabinet." Now remember he is 6 feet 2 inches tall and I am five feet 2 inches tall. Would I ever find a mouse on the top of a cabinet? He hasn't used my laptop since. 

2. My oldest daughter: She comes to my house and cleans and everything left out goes

into a box and into a closet. I usually try to straighten up before she comes because anything that is left out is fair game for her. She just puts it into a box for me to put away “at my leisure.” 

But then I can’t find the box with my purse, keys, glasses, and the important papers that I was working on when she came. She has to come and tell me where the treasure box is hiding out. But I appreciate her help with cleaning more than the hassle of finding the stuff she puts away, so she’s a keeper cleaner.

3. Curse of the Gadianton Robbers: We live in the Last Days, which has been prophesied as a day when wickedness will be prevalent that no one will be able to hold onto their treasures. The Book of Mormon scriptures mention that the people will be so wicked that the land will be cursed so no one can find their treasures: I don’t envision robbers coming to steal my stuff. Neither is the stuff I can’t find real “treasures” except to me, but when I can’t find something important I remember the curse upon the land that makes all things “slippery.”

• “Helaman 13:34: Behold, we lay a tool here and on the morrow it is gone; and behold, our swords are taken from us in the day we have sought them for battle.”
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•  Book of Mormon 1: 18 “And these Gadianton robbers, who were among the Lamanites, did infest the land, insomuch that the inhabitants thereof began to hide up their treasures in the earth; and they became slippery, because the Lord had cursed the land, that they could not hold them, nor retain them again.”

4. IL Folletto: When we lived in Italy years ago, I studied Italian at the University and through a conversation Italian class taught by the dearest Italian lady, Angela Buvoli. She taught us all about the customs, history, culture, folklore and other things about Italy that we’d never learn in a book. She told us the story of Il Folletto.

• The dictionary says a folletto is an elfin, elf-like, mischievous, playful, sprightly, genie, gremlin, or pixie.
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•  Wikipedia’s explanation is not as innocent: “The folletto is a legendary creature typical of the folk tradition generally depicted as being a small, joker, agile and elusive, able to fly and become invisible. In folklore European shares similar characteristics with . . . the brownies , the puck, the goblin and leprechaun .Lives in burrows in the woods especially conifers or at the homes of men, courtyards and barns. Almost always comes out only at night to have fun doing mischief to the beasts of the stables and mess up the hair of beautiful women, cluttering agricultural tools and household objects”

4. La Signora Buvoli’s Folletto: Her idea of a folletto was a tiny mischievous elf who lived inside the house and was attracted to shiny objects. He came out at night and would sometimes take with him shiny objects that were lying around the house, especially if they were not put away. However, the folletto was attracted to millet (grain) and if you left a little bowl out of him, he would get busy counting the grains of millet and leave your items alone. 

So you could fool him by putting your things away correctly in their drawers, shelves, etc. all the time, or leave a bowl of millet out for him to count. Then he wouldn’t steal your items away and you’d never find them—or you’d find them in a new place, when he decided to return them.

So, who is the real culprit when I lose something and can’t find it? 

Perhaps all of the above, but I admit I am most likely the biggest culprit for not putting things away where they should have put it away, and for trying to find new ways to organize things. And of course, my poor memory.

Movies, Movies, Movies

Movies are “The stuff that dreams are made of.” Wikipedia describes them in this way: “Films (movies) are cultural artifacts created by specific cultures, which reflect those cultures, and, in turn, affect them. Film is considered to be an important art form, a source of popular entertainment and a powerful method for educating– or indoctrinating– citizens. The visual elements of cinema give motion pictures a universal power of communication.”

Movies are different than theater in many ways (which I am not getting into) but I want to discuss how movies have touched my life. 

I have always lived in the age of movies. I remember as a teen one of the big attractions was going to the movie theater on Friday night to watch movies and get together. We would meet boys there and watch Elvis movies; we couldn’t date (I think I was in Junior High School), but I guess we were going together in a very informal way. Your "boyfriend" would ask you to "meet him at the movies on Friday night," and you were "going together"-- for that week, (actually that night), but it was exciting! I don’t recall I ever did that, but I knew many who did. 

The Bountiful Movie Theater that was big at that time was on Main Street right next to where Carr Stationery is (about 185 South Main). I don’t know when it closed down. There was another movie theater, the Queen Theater on 5^th South near where the Flower Patch Shop is now, but it wasn’t “the” place to go like the theater on Main Street. 

I always liked movies. I prefer comedies and romances, and some dramas. I

don’t like horror, sports, or cowboy movies. The movies I remember most from my early years were Roman Holiday, The Ten Commandments, Some Like it Hot, West Side Story, Sound of Music, the Manchurian Candidate, Lawrence of Arabia, A Hard Day’s Night, Dr. Zhivago, and all of Elvis Presley’s movies.

Some other of my all-time favorite movies are: Gone with the Wind, Indiana Jones and Star Wars movies, My Fair Lady and most musicals. 

Ed has never liked movies that much, so I recall right after we were married going to matinee movies by myself so I could see the movies I liked that I knew he would never go to with me. Ed would go to popular movies with the kids and me if it was really big. When it was my birthday or anniversary, I’d always ask him to take me to a movie because I’d much rather see a movie than go out to eat, and he would usually agree. 

I loved taking our kids to the movies; it was a good excuse to see a good movie. I did not like cartoons or animated movies!!!! But I would take my children to see animated movies and all children’s movies. I remember when my fifth and last child was young; I loved taking him to children’s movies because it was the only time I got to take a nap (while he watched the movie).

Ed started going to the movies with me a lot when we were in Los Angeles waiting for his lung transplant; we went to museums, events, and occasionally we would go to movies just to have something to do. Movies in L. A. were more an event than a movie—the one multi-screen theater we went to that was close to our apartment had some theaters with couches rather than seats and other theaters served wine in the evenings (to adult only shows). It was pretty posh. You could get free preview tickets to shows and they raffled off t-shirts and other items from the shows. We went to a preview of the movie Anonymous and we won some t-shirts.

While we lived in Los Angeles Ed did respiratory rehab with a famous agent, and other people in our ward worked in movies, so Ed & I got a mild case of “Academy Award” fever; people have Academy Award parties (though we didn’t go to any). You just can’t live in L. A. without becoming a movie fan—everywhere you look they are advertising movies, movies, movies. The Fox Studios were right on our street so we passed them every day, and one of our friends worked there. 

 When Diana and Jason came out to visit us in L. A., we got a map of the movie stars’ houses and drove around and looked at them. It was fun (even if I am not a big movie star fan). We even went to some of the movie star hangouts, but we never saw any stars, but then Bryan told me I wouldn’t recognize them if I’d seen them.

Bryan is our movie geek! He knows movies—who the actors were, and quotes

from the movies. It is not just because he got his Associates Degree in Film Production and studies movies intensely. He has always studied movies, their actors, their themes, etc. He amazes me that he knows actors, films, and so much about them. His taste is so different than mine also. He loves horror shows, sci-fi, psychological, and anything that is weird. His comedy is off-the-wall, but that is because he does improv. 

His favorite movie NOW (it changes by the day or week) is “Thor” and “Ender’s Game” (which I know many like), but you couldn’t pay me to see. Ed & I did see “The Saratov Approach” at a noon matinee last week—I liked it.

But the funniest thing was when I rented “Whitehouse Down” and Ed & I watched it. Bryan said, “You couldn’t like that movie, Mom—it is violent and action-packed and you don’t like that kind of movie.” I guess sometimes I can like something different. Even if Bryan doesn’t approve.

The Patience of a Saint?

The dictionary defines patience as:

1. the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.
2. an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay: to have patience with a slow learner.
3. quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence: to work with patience.

Everyone praises patience as a great and admirable quality, but few possess it. In fact it has been said to be the quality of a saint. One of the most difficult aspects of our time here in Los Angeles awaiting Ed’s lung transplant has been our lack of patience. We expected the wait for a new lung to be two weeks to a month and we have been here over three months.

Therefore after the priesthood session of general conference a few weeks ago, I laughed when Ed called me and said, “President Uchdorf spoke directly to me in his address on patience!(see talk at http://www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1207-20,00.html ) Everything he said I needed to hear.” However, when I read President Uchdorf’s talk about patience, it really hit home and I began to think about our stay here in Los Angeles and what we have gained from our wait.

When we arrived here the 4th of January, Ed had gained some of the weight he’d lost last fall but he was still 20 pounds underweight; the doctors told him he must gain weight. They said that people who undergo lung transplant surgery who are underweight have far more complications than anyone, even those who are overweight. He was given dietary guidelines and diaries to chart his food intake.

Ed started on a respiratory therapy program at the hospital gym three times a week and a yoga therapy two days a week. He had been doing respiratory therapy at the University of Utah in Utah, but this was a better program with other respiratory patients that he grew to know and to relate to. Some patients had had lung transplants, some had had lung reduction surgery, some like Ed were waiting for surgery, and some were not planning on surgery. So Ed had the chance to find out what to look forward to when he had surgery, and the other alternatives. They also discussed places to eat in Los Angeles and things to do, which Ed shared with me.

At the conclusion of the program, Ed and I were invited to join a respiratory patient support group of those with respiratory problems, including past transplant patients, and other respiratory surgical patients.

His improvement during this three-month waiting period was also evaluated: Ed has gained 17 pounds since we arrived here and his respiratory improvement has been 30%. He can now walk 45 minutes on the treadmill at 1.4 miles per hour. Physically, Ed is far more ready for surgery NOW, than he was when we arrived in January (when he wanted surgery IMMEDIATELY). He will recovery from surgery better now, than he would have in January. Meanwhile, he is enjoying life more now. He still needs the surgery, but he is compensating better without it at least temporarily.

We have made many friends here in the ward and the area—even the friends he has made at therapy are unique and have enriched his life. We have learned a lot about Los Angeles, its history and culture, and its wonderful food by eating at a different ethnic restaurant each week (strictly to help him gain weight, you know—for no other reason!).

Helen Keller said it better than I could, “Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.”

Bring on the surgery—we are ready NOW!