Monday, October 28, 2013

Until the Twelfth of Never



You ask how much I need you
Must I explain?
I need you, oh, my darling
 Like roses need rain

You ask how long, I'll love you
I'll tell you true
Until the twelfth of never
I'll still be loving you

Hold me close
Never let me go
Hold me close
Melt my heart like April snow

I'll love you 'til the blue bells forget to bloom
I'll love you 'til the clover has lost its perfume
I'll love you 'til the poets run out of rhyme

Until the twelfth of never
And that's a long long time
Until the twelfth of never
And that's a long long time


 
My husband and I are celebrating our 50th anniversary and I remember the song that was popular in our  day—“The Twelfth of Never.” It is a beautiful ballad where he pledges to love her “until the twelfth of never. . . and that’s a long, long time.” This is supposed to mean a time that can’t be counted, infinity. Many other love songs sing of eternal love, a love beyond the bounds of this earth, a never-ending love. 

When my husband and I married 50 years ago in the Logan Temple, our marriage was “sealed” not just until death parts us, but for time and all eternity. This indeed is a marriage that lasts “until the twelfth of never” or for infinity. 


What is a Temple or Eternal Marriage? Why would one want such a marriage? 

First to want an eternal marriage, you must believe in a life beyond this mortal temporal life—a life before birth and a life after death—an eternal life. As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (also referred to as Mormons), we believe that our existence on the earth today is only one part of our eternal progression; that we lived as spirit beings before we came to earth; we are living on earth to obtain mortal bodies and to test us; that after death we will once again live in a spiritual realm until we are resurrected and receive an immortal body.

If you believe in life after this, (as Mormons do) then you want to preserve family ties into the next life. 

If you believe only in this life and that when you die, your existence as a soul, spirit or any kind of conscious being or entity is wiped out, then there is no need for a marriage past death; there is nothing past death. Many people believe this way, and when family members die, it is indeed a devastating thought that their existence is gone.

Many Christians do believe in life after death and look forward to rejoining deceased family members when they die. The idea of living together in family units after death is especially appealing if your family life was happy.
My mother died over 49 years ago, soon after we were married. I was very close to her, and I yearned to have a mother to turn to as a young mother for guidance and support. Several times during the years when I have needed her, I have felt my mother’s spirit and her love and know that the veil between this world and the next can be very thin. Another time when I was going through a difficult illness and felt overwhelmed, I often felt my maternal grandparents nearby—I felt they were right behind me and if I turned quickly enough I would see them; I felt that they knew of my struggle and were there to support me. Those times I felt their spirit, I was uplifted, knowing I wasn’t alone, and I felt encouraged to keep going.

A very dear sister of mine died twelve years ago of cancer. Her husband sat with her often before her death; one day they were discussing Coleen’s mother, who had also died young of cancer. Coleen’s husband asked her if she thought that her deceased mother’s spirit had been around during the busy years that he and Coleen were raising their nine children. Coleen smiled and replied, oh yes, her mother had been there watching them raise their children and her grandchildren.

Coleen’s husband asked her how she knew that. Coleen was very peaceful replied; her mother’s spirit was sitting over in the corner of the room. When he had asked Coleen that question, her mother nodded her head, indicating, yes, she had been there.

If you believe in a post-mortal life, and want to be with your family after death, you need to know how you can. Who can promise such a thing? 

I believe that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has the authority to promise a marriage union that will last beyond this life. I believe that Christ’s church was restored to the earth by Christ’s apostles, and with it the power to seal couples in heaven and on earth.



On April 3, 1836, in the newly dedicated temple in Kirtland, Ohio, the Lord Jehovah appeared to the Prophet Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery. Then Moses, Elias, and Elijah each appeared and committed the keys of vital and eternal works to earthly leaders once more.

Elijah’s appearance was in fulfillment of the prophecy made in Malachi 4:5–6:

“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord:

“And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.”

The keys and power of the priesthood Elijah restored on that day in the Kirtland Temple are described in Doctrine and Covenants 132:46: “And verily, verily, I say unto you, that whatsoever you seal on earth shall be sealed in heaven; and whatsoever you bind on earth, in my name and by my word, saith the Lord, it shall be eternally bound in the heavens.”

These sealing ordinances, which bind families together for eternity, can be performed only in holy temples by those having the proper priesthood authority.[i]

Who then would want a temple marriage? A young couple who believe in eternal life, who believe in the authority of the church which promises the power to unite them eternally, and who love each other enough to want to be sealed eternally would want a temple marriage.  A young couple who were not sure about their love, who were thinking (even unconsciously) that if it didn’t work they could always get a divorce and try again, wouldn’t want an eternal commitment that would be harder to cancel or break. 

The commitment a couple who want an eternal marriage is far more than a couple who just wants to get married. 
They must keep all the commandments of the church for a year prior to marriage, including chastity until marriage. And the commitment to keeping the commandments of the church, to be faithful in all things is a lifetime obligation. A “happily ever after” marriage only begins on the wedding day; an eternal marriage begins the same day. A wedding sealed in the temple may never become eternal if it becomes based on anger, dishonesty, unfaithfulness, or selfishness. But living the gospel, loving and helping perfect each other, working toward becoming an eternal family is worth it. It doesn’t happen overnight (it may take a lifetime), but think of the rewards.

To be sealed as a family, knowing that you will be united as a family after death is infinitely precious. In our fifty years of marriage my husband and I have lost three grandchildren and there have been several times when my husband has been so ill we were fearful that he wasn’t long for this life. My husband served two tours in Vietnam as a helicopter pilot and I worried daily if he would survive the war or not. But the confidence of the resurrection and the knowledge that we would be a family again helps make these trials more bearable. 

As we celebrate our fifty years together, they haven’t always been easy. But I love him just as much as I did when I heard that song many years ago, “Until the twelfth of never, I’ll still be loving you.” With temple marriage, even after death, we’ll still be able to love each other as a couple with our family, forever.



[i] Ensign, April 2007, p. 40



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