The Priesthood Blessing I Didn't Want to Hear

Our Family after Ed retired from the military in 1988,
Bryan being held by his older brother; Ed is
behind us; I am on the right.

Sometimes I wonder if I “Shop Around” for people to give me priesthood blessings, depending on the answer I want to hear. I don’t know if it is conscious, but I know it happened one time 25 years ago. My husband Ed had retired from the military after over 20 years of military service, and more than 32 years of full-time employment. We had five children, with three over 18 years old and on their own; one daughter, 14 years at home, our youngest son Bryan, four years old.

Ed had continued to work after retirement, and although I had worked for a while after he retired, I wasn’t working when I got a very good job offer out of the blue. I had been blessed to be a stay-at-home mother for all of our children’s lives, and I really didn’t want to work. Ed and I talked about it at length and it would be good in many ways because Ed wasn’t earning much and was very unhappy in his job. He joked, “I worked the first 28 years of our marriage; why don’t you work the next 25 years.”

I was torn and conflicted. I think I felt assurance from the Lord that this was something I should do, and I was fighting with all my heart against it because I really preferred to stay home. We fasted and prayed on Sunday, and I knew I needed a priesthood blessing to come to a decision.

I considered asking Ed for a priesthood blessing but I felt I knew what he’d say—he would bless me that I should take the job. Even if he was inspired to say that I was supposed to go back to work, I would never believe that was the Lord’s will because Ed wanted me to work and knew I didn’t want to go to work.

So I thought of a way to get around it! My father lived close by and was a

My Father

faithful priesthood holder who I could ask for a priesthood blessing! Besides which he did not believe in women working outside the home if they had small children, and I had a four-year-old. My father was of an earlier generation that had earlier in his life felt women did not even need an education—only men needed one to provide for the family. (That attitude did not prevent two of his daughters—my sister and I--from gaining bachelor’s degrees and my sister from getting her master’s degree, and another sister to have almost have completed her bachelor’s degree.) If he could bless me to go to work, I would know it was from the Lord. My daughter Diana, Bryan and I went to my father’s home for a blessing after our fast.

Here is my journal entry explaining the experience:

         “He began to give me the blessing, and after a bit said, ‘I feel . . .’ then paused for a long time. When he started again, he blessed me in vague ways that didn't mean much. A little later in the blessing, he said again, ‘I feel . . .’ and paused longer. Finally he said, ‘I feel . . .’ again and blessed me in a way that made it seemed like I should go to work. Diana reminded me afterwards that he never once said, ‘go to work’ but we all felt so strongly that that's what he meant. That's when I really began to cry and shake my head because I knew then what I was supposed to do—take that job.

        “Dad blessed me with health and strength to overcome the challenges that would come my way. I recall he also blessed my family through me and that they would be blessed if I went to work.

      “There was no doubt that the blessing was a confirmation that I needed to work at this time. After the blessing was over, Dad was shaking and we had all really felt the spirit! Dad said that every time he started to say that he felt that I should stay home, or continue my schooling, it was like a stupor came over him and he couldn't continue! He had to stop until he said the other--‘that for now I'd have to face the challenges and take advantage of the opportunities that came my way.’”

While Ed was lab manager at the elementary
school, he grew a beard; at Christmas
he dyed it green and red. He allowed
the students who typed the fasted to cut
it off during an assembly.

So I accepted the job, and worked full-time for the next 20 years. I enjoyed several job, including being on the editorial staff of the Liahona for several years, a dream of mine. I didn’t quite make it to the 25 years working Ed had suggested—I reached 65 years of age before then.

When I accepted the job, Ed quit working and became Bryan’s primary care-taker; when Bryan was in Kindergarten, Ed volunteered to be a volunteer when Bryan’s class went to the computer lab. Later that year the computer teacher quit and the school asked Ed to take her place He worked for 15 hours a week as computer teacher in Bryan’s Elementary School while Bryan went to school there. 

After all the time Ed missed being away from the older kids while they were growing up because he was away on assignments or flying (he was a pilot) or working long, demanding hours, he was able to be Bryan’s primary care-taker and work in Bryan’s school with him. 

My father’s priesthood blessing really came true!!!!! My working in this case was a blessing and an opportunity for our whole family.

Junior High-aged Bryan and Ed, buddies forever.

Eternal Perspective

I went to the Atlanta Temple that spring day seeking comfort and strength. My problems may have been small compared to others=Cbut that day they appeared huge and insurmountable. The skies were leaden; the rain had been coming down in sheets for almost a week. The air was heavy and oppressive as I yearned for the sun to pierce through the gloom and warm my soul. 

Sitting in the chapel in my rented temple clothing, my tears fell like the rain outside. One of the temple workers patted me on the back and whispered that it would be "all right." I looked at the name of the sister whose proxy I was that day, and wondered if all her days had been sunny; then the thought struck me with great force—of course not. Life on earth contains both joy and sorrowCtoo frequently we dwell on the sorrows and forget the joys. 

That thought struck me with the force of an electric shockCperhaps our existence on earth was similar to the view we focus on when looking through a camera=s narrow lens. We determine our individual focusCwhether we set a mental telephoto viewpoint which magnifies the large, immovable rocks, the encompassing weeds and the dreary mud. Or we decide whether to enlarge our focus to catch the rainbow on the edge of the sky, the gardenias blooming with breathless perfection, or the softness of the green velvet grass. The gardenia blooms whether we see it and appreciate it or not. Nothing limits our view except ourselves. If we move our imaginary lens too rapidly, the landscape around us becomes an incomprehensible blur of color and texture. But if we focus on one thing to the exclusion of all else, we may miss the significance of something else. When we try to broaden our focus to include everything in sight, the panorama becomes so wide that we can see nothing distinctly. We pick and choose the focus which we concentrate onCand that affects our whole vision of life.

As the temple session began, I still slumped wearily in my seat. Although my thoughts were whirling with new insights, my shoulders still bowed with the accumulated problems of a lifetime. However, as I concentrated on the endowment ceremony, I felt an unnatural need to sit up tall, to slough off the sorrow and hold my head and shoulders high. I consciously decided I would do so, reflecting that I needed to represent the sister whose work I was doing with dignity and respect, for she was not sorrowing this day, but rejoicing in the eternal significance of the blessings she was receiving. Throughout the session, whenever I would begin to slump, I would immediately catch myself, determined to represent the sister for whom I was proxy in a stately manner. As I concentrated on the words of the temple ceremony, and considered what they meant to her eternal progression, my mood began to change. It was as though I was adjusting the focus of my "mental" camera, and seeing things that had always been there, but which I had missed previously.

I reflected on the wonderful blessings I had been endowed with during my life, and gloried in my knowledge of the plan of salvation. I gave thanks that I had the blessings of the restored gospel during my lifetimeCthe Holy Ghost to guide my decisions, priesthood blessings to strengthen me, and covenants to give direction to my existence. I wondered about the sister for whom I was proxy, and if her mortal life had been difficult or easy, rich or poor, exalted or lowly. Most of all I wondered what her perspective on life had been. Did she mourn what she lacked, or did she see the joy and beauty which surrounded her? Whatever her life had been, I knew she was grateful for the service I was doing for her that day. For that I felt a special fellowship.

As the endowment session came to its conclusion, I looked down at my rented temple clothing, and another thought struck me. I don=t know which mode of clothing the sister whose work I had done may have worn during her lifetime. She may have worn simple, homespun clothing, or native dress. As unlikely as it might be, she may have even worn rich satins, embossed with jewels. However, nothing she had ever worn in her lifetime could compare in significance with the simple rented temple robes that I had worn for her that day. For the robes I had worn symbolized covenants and promises that would not disintegrate and decay in earth=s fragile atmosphere as their earthly counterparts would.

It was still raining as I left the temple that day, but I did not feel its sting, nor did I notice the puddles it left in its wake. It seemed that my focus had shifted imperceptively during the temple session from the mundane and dreary to a more exalted view. I looked out over the vista of Atlanta from the heights of the temple mound, and my heart took a snapshot. The scene had not changed since I entered the temple, but my focus had. The temple had helped me see with an eternal perspective.