Singing

Sing: is a verb that means to utter words or sounds in succession with musical modulations of the voice; vocalize melodically. It is a talent to be enjoyed by others, but that not many have. I have been grateful that of my five children, four are very musical. 

I always enjoyed singing. We had a piano that my mother often played while we sang while the canary there in the room warbled along. My father loved to sing, and we had lots of sheet music. Some of the songs my father sang to us were: “Roly Poly, Daddy’s little Fatty,” “Lonely Little Petunia in an Onion Patch,” “Little Purple Pansies,” “Running Bear” (a ballad about Running Bear and Little White Dove, two Indians that loved “with a love that couldn’t die”). Our family favorite was an old cowboy ballad, “Little Joe the Wrangler” about a Texas stray who died in a washout. We would always end up crying when he sang that song. 

I remember when “Your Hit Parade” came on TV. We would all watch it and sing along. I also had my favorite songs that I sang to all the little kids I babysat and my own children years later: Frank Sinatra’s “High Hopes,” and “Swing on a Star,” Doris Day’s “Che sera sera” from the movie, Whatever Will Be, Will Be.  Other silly songs were “Green Door,” and “The Railroad Comes through the Middle of the House” (which we loved because it reminded us of our house which we had to move from to make way from the freeway --we joked that now the freeway ran through the middle of our house).

I also loved musical theater and I had several long-playing

records of them. In fact one of my most memorable Christmases was when my parents gave me an album of the “Carnival” musical Theater recording, which I had wanted, but I didn’t think they knew I wanted. I always sang along with the music, whether I was on tune or not—the records couldn’t tell. 

When I was married and had children, I played music while we cleaned up and we sang and danced to the music while we worked. I don’t recall watching much TV back then, but we played an awfully lot of music because we knew all the music to all of it. When we were in the car, we played cassettes of the music and sang along (otherwise the children would fight—but if the music was playing, they wouldn’t). I think we must have had music on all the time except when we were eating; the only reason we didn’t then because we had a rule, “if you sing at the table, you will cry in bed.”

I insisted they all my children have music lessons (Marlowe had trumpet lessons, the rest had piano lessons), so they would know music.

When I look back at my life, I realize how ironic it is that we played music and sang with it all the time, because I don’t have a good voice, and I can’t carry a tune. But I doubt back then if my children knew that; the music drowned me out. We just enjoyed the music. We had to like country west music—we spent 12 years in Texas. We always loved musicals, but we also liked comedy (The Smothers Brothers and some Hawaii Comedy Music). We even liked “Roll on, Big Mama” one year that we drove a lot; Ed got the music and we watched the truckers. We always liked Primary music (because we always had someone in the Primary). 

Marlowe wanted to sing in the ward choir when he was a teenager and we lived in

Alabama. In fact we lived in the temple district when the Atlanta Temple was dedicated and even though Marlowe was only 16 years old, he was selected to be in the Dedicatory Choir from our stake. When our stake was chosen to be the one to sing for the first session and the ground-laying ceremony, Marlowe was right there.

Athena loved to sing and she was also in the choir as a teenager, but when we moved to Italy, she often had to play the piano because there wasn’t always a pianist available. But by then both Marlowe, Athena and Marc were performing with the Community Theater in Italy and in musicals, as well as singing in choirs. Marc had my voice, so he didn’t sing in choirs or groups, but he loved music. 

Athena had developed her athletic talents all through high school as a gymnastic and dancer; in Italy she won some fame with her gymnastic abilities and after one event, one of the Italian Olympic judges offered to coach her in his local Olympic coaching group at no cost if she was willing to put in the time—every afternoon after school until late and every Saturday. She did it for a while, but she decided she wanted to be an American high school student more than an Olympic hopeful and gave it up. Then she could do her singing and dancing in the Community Theater Productions, and be Studentbody Secretary, and date and do all the fun things she wanted. 

Marlowe in "Christmas Carol"

When Marlowe went to college, his schedule was so tight that he couldn’t take any band, jazz band, or music classes as he had in high school, but he was always in the Institute Choir—he wouldn’t give that up. But during the summers, he would come back to Centerville and perform in theater productions, especially musicals. After he graduated from college and was working and earning money, he performed in many theatrical performances all over the Wasatch front, from Rodgers Memorial Theater, Grand Theater, Hunt Mysteries Dinner Theater, to Hale Theater (with Diana). 

Athena continued to be in choirs in college, and always church choirs, but Diana was the

Diana in "Scarlet Pimpernel"

one who surprised us all. We moved to Utah when she was in the 7^th grade and she had a hard time adjusting. In the 8^th grade she took a choir class and enjoyed it and the teacher mentioned she had a nice voice. So she tried out for Jr. High Madrigals and made it. We were impressed and I suggested she take voice lessons to help her self-esteem. We began to realize she had a real talent for music and helped her develop it. 

I worked full time from the time Bryan was three years old, so I never had music playing all the time like I had with the other children. But he was around Diana and her music all the time. Bryan had sometimes performed with the older children in musicals; whenever they were in a show and there was a need for a child, they “kidnapped” Bryan and put him in the show. I was not a stage mom, and insisted if they took him, they were responsible for him; I would never take

Bryan, Diana & other child

him or pick him up or be involved; he was their obligation. Sometimes I think they realized how tired I was and took Bryan to give me a break. 

Although I paid for Bryan’s voice lessons, he was never as committed as Diana to practice. He had the ability, but not the dedication to develop his voice. He was more interested in being an actor, a comedian, and an improv performer. 

Today Diana still sings with “Friends of Harmony,” a group of women in Chicago who sing

Diana in Friends of Harmony

for nursing homes, and other non-profit venues. I am so glad she is still using her talents. 

I am so amazed at the ability all my children have to listen to choirs and musical groups and tell immediately who is on tune and who is not. Whether it is our years of going to choir and band concerts, musicals and lots and lots of shows, but Ed, Diana, Bryan, and Marlowe can tell if anyone is flat or out of tune. It makes me angry because I go to a show to enjoy it, not critique it. I guess it is because I can’t sing at all, and know that if I tried to sing, they would make fun of me. I never try to sing in a choir because I know I am so bad, but I enjoy listening to them.

All of my children (even Bryan) are knowledgeable about many types and genres of music. When we play games, they amaze me at their knowledge of names of music and songs, even old-time songs. Best of all--they love to sing together.

One Wild Windy Thursday Night

It was one wild, windy Thursday night. One of the worst wind storms of the year; it tore up trees, knocked out power for 12 hours and made it difficult to travel. Everything unlocked down was blown away, and travel was dangerous along the freeway where semi-trucks and high-profile trucks lined the shoulder. They were afraid to drive along I-15 in Davis County where the winds reached 60 and 70 mph, overturning vehicles that tried to drive along them. At 5:00pm, a gust reaching 80 mph one of the highest recorded blasts of the night, ripped through Centerville. 

I realized how fragile life was that night as my own medical storm took place at Lakeview Hospital. I had been being admitted to the hospital the night before with a kidney stone. They took me into surgery on that windy Thursday afternoon to remove the stone and I crashed. I had septic shock and D.I.C. neither of which are good, and together are very dangerous. Septic shock is a very complex process wherein infection in the body gets out of hand and an overwhelming inappropriate immune response occurs throughout the body, blood pressure plummets, overtaxing the heart and leading to organ failure and often death. It is not the infection that is so dangerous—it is the body’s response!

Disseminated intravascular coagulation (DIC) is a rare, life-threatening condition that prevents a person's blood from clotting normally. It may cause excessive clotting (thrombosis) or bleeding (hemorrhage) throughout the body and leads to shock, organ failure, and death. 

Luckily, despite both these life-threatening occurrences, I was in the best place to be treated for it, and within minutes I was in the I.C.U. and they were reversing the effects of the medical conditions that had occurred. Even luckier, I was totally unconscious of what was happening. 

granddaughter Skye

What I want to address is my memories and experiences of the week-long experience. The only thing I can remember from my time in I.C.U. is praying that the Lord’s will be done. For too many times in the past, I had selfishly prayed not to have a trial, not to have cancer, to be healed no matter what. I didn’t know what was happening in this experience, (most of the time I was not conscious), but with whatever conscious that I had, I wanted the Lord to know I wanted His will to be done—not mine. Over and over, my only thought was—“thy will be done—not mine.” 

One other small memory from the I.C.U.—I remember my granddaughter Skye sitting and holding

daughter Athena

my hand. How comforting that felt. I was so glad she was there. I don’t remember anything else from those three days in I.C.U.; I only remember “waking” in the hospital room with my family there.

My daughter Athena who lives in Layton, Utah, not far from us, had been with me in the I.C.U. almost from the first. She had been there all night that long night that they didn’t know whether I’d make it or not. She said I was very confused and asked, “Where are they? Where are they?” but I couldn’t tell her who ‘they’ were. (I don’t remember this or anything else in the I.C.U.) I didn’t know where I was; I had no idea what had happened, but when she told me, I asked again. She would try to sleep, but whenever I would start talking, she would see if she could calm me. She said at times I was delirious and she couldn’t understand me. It is always the role of women to stay with the ill throughout the night, comforting and caring for them. 

daughter Diana

My younger daughter Diana lives in Chicago and she was more distraught because she was far away and there was nothing she could do but worry. She sent me an email that night that described her experience: “Tonight I was also thinking about how I hated that you had to suffer through this alone (I know Athena is there with you but since you aren't awake it's hard for you to know that) and while I was thinking about that and praying that Heavenly Father would be there with you and comfort you I had the most overwhelming feeling that your mom and Aunt Coleen were there with you—[both were deceased]. It was almost as if someone was telling me not to worry that I can't be there because they were there with you and would stay by your side the whole time.”

As Diana explained, I had my family—on both sides of the veil—with me that long night. As in so

Mother

many times in this life when we struggle, we have our family and our friends, supporting us, helping us, on both sides of the veil.

The words from Psalms 23:4 comforted me. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”  Psalms 23: 4. I know that God is always there to comfort me. I had not consciously thought that he sends others to comfort and strengthen us as well. But of course he does. 

deceased sister Coleen

Something several people wanted to know was “Did I see the light? Did I see my mother or sister?” I didn’t because I didn’t come close to dying!!! When Diana told me about her experience that she knew my deceased mother and sister had been with me that night, I knew it was true; they had been there. I hadn’t felt them because I was too drugged up or unconscious. I may have felt them then but didn’t remember it now. 

I used to read lots of “near-death” of “life after death” experiences to see what people experienced when they died and were brought back to death. So many experienced seeing their bodies separate from their “souls” and leaving their bodies behind to go to a beautiful place of love. Family members who had passed away met them when they died and told them to go back when they were “brought back to life.” Various renditions of the same experience, but essentially the same. 

One day I was reading such a story, and I had an epiphany. I didn’t need to read such a story to know that when we die, we go to a spirit world, filled with love. I know, as surely as if I had had a near-death experience that when I die, my soul will leave my earthly body behind, my loved ones will greet me and escort me to a spirit world of love. That is all that I need to know! I haven’t read those types of stories since because I know more surely than the books what is real. 

Another lesson I learned from my experience is the power of prayer!!!! I’ve always known how powerful prayer was, but I’ve never felt it as potently as I did this time. It was Fast Sunday when I was in the hospital and my ward fasted and prayed for me. My oldest son, along with my youngest son, my husband, son-in-law, brother-in-law gave me a blessing that same day. My son was the voice and told me that “I would feel the love, concern, and prayers of those who cared about me.” I testify that I really did. It felt like a warm bubble that surrounded me and comforted me that protected me from all my worries and fears. I have never felt anything like it before. I didn’t worry about Thanksgiving coming, or Christmas shopping, or whether I would get better; I knew everything would be okay. I knew people cared about me and were praying for me. 

Even when I was stable from the septic shock and D.I.C., my body refused to cooperate. I developed pneumonia. Then my asthma kicked in and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. But I could still feel the prayers helping me. Even when my pericarditis kicked in and I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest and I couldn’t breathe, I didn’t get discouraged as I normally do when it hits. Again I felt the comfort of the prayers—the peace made me realize that I could conquer anything. It was only a few days and it would switch off, and I’d be better, and it was. 

My recovery has not been as fast or as easy as I would have wished it would have been, but I have appreciated those who have done kind things for me. I am grateful for a wonderful visiting teacher who dropped by with small things that brightened my day when I had a hard time eating; my dear sister Janet who always is so kind and thoughtful in many ways! The Relief Society presidency was so kind and checked up on me briefly when it was hard for me to talk or visit. I appreciated their understanding; I needed sleep and rest. My daughter Athena always knew what needed to be done and did it, whether it was chicken noodle soup or decorating for Christmas. How overwhelmed I would have been without her and her family!

One last comment. I am glad to know that when I was delirious, I didn’t change my personality. They said I kept planning things—I said I needed to help with a youth activity; I was worried about Thanksgiving dinner and had given the waitress my list of ingredients to buy for it. I’ve always wondered if I had no inhibitions, what would I be like—funny, mean? Apparently, I’d just be the same, worried about all the things to do. Athena was nice enough to video-tape me on her phone answering her questions when I was delirious, so she could show me how “crazy” or “normal” I was. With Bryan, I told him “Happy Halloween” then realized that was wrong, corrected myself and said, “Merry Christmas” (it was a few days before Thanksgiving). I guess I was as crazy as ever.

Life is fragile. We never know what will happen from day to day. We never know when powerful storms—real or figurative—will hit our lives. How grateful I am that I had the chance to recover and enjoy my family that Christmas season. How grateful I am for all the friends and neighbors whose prayers I felt during my recovery. I truly feel that Christmas season will be one of the blessed of my life.