Mother's Day Memories of Funny Things My Children Did

On this Mother’s Day, I am enjoying hearing about my newest one-year-old grandson in Chicago and all the fun things he does. It made me think of all the reasons I became a mother so many years ago. The one reason I NEVER THOUGHT about back then when I was trying to survive each day, was to gather the material to create a humorous booklet of all the funny things little children say and do. At the time my children’s antics may not have seemed very funny, but looking back now, they seem more hilarious.

My older children were approximately 18 months apart, so there were things they did that did not seem funny at the time. Most I have tried to block out, but unfortunately I have remembered some. My husband was in Vietnam when the third one was born, so for that year when I had one three-years-old, one 18-month–old and a new born, I was outnumbered and overwhelmed.

Marlowe, my oldest, was such a very curious child I am surprised he never became a scientist. He was always trying to find out what would happen to his siblings when he did things to him. Once he tried to put his sister into a dryer when he was three and she was 18-months-old, but he couldn’t get the dryer door shut, before I discovered them.

Marlowe was a good big brother, though. We lived in an upstairs apartment the year Ed was gone, and the washer and dryer were in the basement of the apartment next door. Marlowe had learned to open doors, so I had a flip lock on the outside door to the cement stairs going outside so the children couldn’t get out if I had to run downstairs for a minute. One day all of the children were asleep so I didn’t flip the lock as I ran down to the washer to change the wash. When I returned, Marlowe was dragging baby Marc by his feet down the cement stairs by his feet, hitting his head on every step.

“Mama, Marc woke up so I was bringing him to you,” he said. My heart stopped as I grabbed the baby, but he was okay.

One time when I had put three-year-old Marlowe in his room for doing something he shouldn't have, Marlowe was very mad! He knew I never wore shoes around the house so he slipped out of his room, found some tacks and spread them on the floor of his room. Then, hiding under his bed, he acted like he was hurt and screamed, “Help.” I came running of course, and stepped all over the tacks with my bare feet. It wasn’t nearly as funny as he thought it would be--for a long time afterwards!

Athena, my middle child, was hyperactive, and drove me crazy. She ran and somersaulted everywhere; I seldom saw her walk. She was very independent, and wouldn’t let anyone do anything for her, but insisted she alone could brush her hair, wash her face, pick out her clothes, get dressed, etc., etc. But she was so athletic that you never knew when she would somersault off the top of the couch in front of you like a clown, and “ta da” surprise you! It could be very funny. (It is no wonder she later became such a good gymnast.)

She loved to climb and get into everything—there wasn’t anything she couldn’t climb over. One day she wanted to get out of her crib and I didn't get her out as fast as she thought I should. So she decided to climb out herself--right over the rail. However, as she climbed over the top, she let go and fell straight backwards. She hit her head on the floor, and gave herself a concussion. But did that stop her? No, she was right back the very next day, trying to climb over the crib rails, or up onto the top bunk.

Eventually my husband returned from Vietnam, and we moved to El Paso, Texas where Ed helped me with my three little ones and I wasn’t quite as overwhelmed. But they were still a handful.

Athena was a very good mother to her younger brother, Marc, and took good care of him, even if she got bossy at times. When he was little and get upset when I left him with a babysitter or at the base nursery, Athena would put her arm around him and tell him I’d big right back and she’d take care of him until I would get back.

Marc was very adventurous. Because he thought he was as old as his siblings, he thought he could do everything they could do, and often would get stranded when he couldn’t. Even when he was under a year old, he’d follow them by climbing onto chairs, tables, beds, and couches and usually get off them by himself, too. But if he couldn’t get off them safely, he’d stand and scream until someone helped him off. He loved to explore how things worked and his favorite thing to make work at a year of age was twirling the knobs on the stereo and TV to turn it off and on and adjust the sound, channel, color, etc.

He was just as audacious in his culinary explorations. At eighteen months of age he was out helping Ed work on the car when he drank motor oil and was rushed to the hospital where they x-rayed him and rechecked and rechecked him. They could smell the oil on his breath even two hours later, but they couldn't find any evidence of it in his lungs. Finally they let him go home and I had to wake him every hour to make sure he was all right. No wonder Marc loves mechanics—he has motor oil in his veins.

Right before Marc’s second birthday, he got pneumonia and was so sick that the doctor planned to admit him. However, when we brought him back to the doctor that night to be admitted, he was better, so the doctor decided to let us take him home. Then, just as he was getting better, he drank the whole bottle of erythromycin (antibiotic) the doctor had given him. We rushed him back to the ER where they poured syrup of ipecac and five glasses of water in him, and even gagged him, but he refused to vomit. So they strapped him into a papoose and washed out his stomach; he fought and screamed and raised a ruckus, but they finally got it out—and put tubes in his infected ears at the same time.

When Marlowe was four-years-old, my widowed father remarried, and I took the three children to Utah for his wedding. Soon after we returned to Texas, my visiting teachers were at my house, when Marlowe came running in and pulled me aside to “whisper” (so loud that he could be heard in the street) that the neighbor kids, Tommy and Sue, (fourth graders), were doing “what people get married to do.”

Of course my visiting teachers were embarrassed and I tried to get Marlowe to wait until they left to tell me what the neighbor kids were doing, but he wouldn’t be put off, so I cautiously asked him what Tommy and Sue were doing.

He was very hesitant to tell me, but mumbled, “Oh, you know.”

“No, I don’t know,” I said trying to stay calm.

I tried to excuse myself for a minute to talk to Marlowe, and went in the other room to ask him but I knew the visiting teachers could hear every word.

“Now what were Sue and Tommy doing?” I asked, holding my breath.

“You know, what Grandpa and his new wife got married to do.” I wondered if Marlowe could have overheard something at the wedding, but I persevered.

“No, I don’t know. Tell me what they are doing.”

He hid behind me and whispered as he blushed. “They’re . . . you know . . . KISSING!” I nearly fell over with relief.

Family Gatherings

"In the end, life teaches us what is important, and that is family." -Stephen Covey

I dreamed last night of a family gathering in my youth. There were aunts and

uncles, cousins, my parents and my siblings. We were laughing and talking and I felt such a warmth and love and sense of belonging. I know why I dreamed such a dream; This past week we have had my daughter and son-in-law here from Chicago to seal their adopted son in the temple and have him blessed and given a name in church. All of my children were here for this special occasion, as well as most of their children, many of my siblings, cousins, and other family. In fact during the blessing ceremony, the chapel was completely filled with family and friends.

Family gatherings during special occasions, weddings, christenings, funerals, Thanksgivings, Christmases, Easters, and many other holidays may be a common occurrence, but it is also an important binding experience. It is the glue that holds families together from generation to generation. Someone said, “Families that play together stay together, especially when their play is uplifting and wholesome. Family vacations, holidays, birthday celebrations, and other activities build strong bonds and feelings of self-worth. The phrase “Remember when we…” is sure to bring love and laughter in the years to come.” –Unknown

I remember my family gatherings when I was a child. I recall getting together with my cousins on both sides of my family—I even remember going to stay with my cousin in Brigham City. After my mother died when I was 20 years old, it was her sister, my Aunt Ruth, who was the link to her family, who kept us close to her family. It is because of Aunt Ruth that I am still close to my cousins, Elaine and Cindy, and their brothers, and that I contacted my cousin Jean Hendrickson Fisher when we lived near each other in Omaha, Nebraska. Family is essential to me.

My father’s family was closer, both because my father was alive to associate with them, and because they lived nearby. There were cousins near my age that I was friends with, and my father’s family had family reunions. I recall my parents getting together with his cousins and having parties and having fun.

I have tried to replicate extended family gatherings for my own although it was a challenge while we were in the military and far from family for most of the older children’s lives. They did not have a tradition of getting together with cousins or aunts and uncles because there were none close to us. However, since we moved to Utah 21 years ago, we have tried to be very involved with our extended families. That was the reason I was so determined to move back to Utah when we retired.

Maybe because our nuclear family was so isolated in the military, we had to depend on each other so much. Just as our children have supported each other by attending each other’s school activities when they were younger, whether it was sports or theater, they have continued to support each other by attending each others’ weddings, the baptisms of their children, or in the case of the past week, the sealing of baby Aiden to Diana and Jason.

They have also tried to get together with each other at the cabin near Yellowstone Park (that belongs to Athena’s husband’s family), or at our house such as when we got back from California, or at least once a year or two. They do this despite the fact that they are living throughout the country and it involves flying great distances and making sacrifices in time and work.

Our family activities have changed through the years. I remember that years ago when they were mostly young adults, they always used to go to movies after Thanksgiving dinner or at family gatherings.

Then they used to play board games until late in the night long after the “old folks” and “little ones” went to bed. We have often gone bowling. This is something every one of all ages could enjoy.

This past weekend when all were gathered at our house, we played participation games—adults, young adults, teens, children and even little ones. It was quite funny to see us gathered in teams, with older ones helping younger ones play “Taboo” and do the challenge and pass out and pay the penalties. It wasn’t as sophisticated as if it were only adults, but the children enjoyed seeing Papa having his wrists “velcroed to his head,” Uncle Bryan having to play an air guitar every time a bell sounded and 12-year-old Jenni having to quack before she could talk. But hopefully someday they will have their own families and remember what they did when they gathered with their extended family. Then they will tell their children, “When I was your age and went to Grandpa’s house, we . . . ."

The Heritage of Relief Society

There are hundreds of humanitarian, relief and woman’s organizations today to assist people in need of hunger, shelter, disaster relief and much more. One stands apart, as one of the oldest and largest women’s organizations in the world—the Relief Society of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, whose organization in 1842 we celebrate in March.

The Relief Society was organized on March 17, 1842, when the Prophet Joseph Smith made the Relief Society an official part of the Church and kingdom of God, and said, “I now turn the key to you in the name of God and this Society shall rejoice and knowledge and intelligence shall flow down from this time—this is the beginning of better days to this Society.” (Minutes, 28 Apr. 1842, p. 40.) The Prophet also promised them in connection with their charitable service, “If you live up to your privileges, the angels cannot be restrained from being your associates.” (Ibid, p. 38. quoted by Elder Dallin Oaks, “The Relief Society and the Church,” Ensign, May 1992.)


“Relief Society is unique because it was organized after the ‘pattern of the priesthood’ and we operate on a general and local level under the direction of priesthood leaders. We work in partnership with priesthood leaders, who hold keys which give them authority to preside in the name of the Lord,” Sister Julie Beck, general president of the Relief Society. “Ours is an organization that continues to be led today by prophets, seers, and revelators.” (Beck, Julie, “The Purposes of Relief Society, Ensign, Nov. 2010.)

"Led by prophets, seers and revelators.” Led by prophets like Moses, Elijah, and Jacob. Not led by majority rule, by educated individuals, or by ordinary men and women, but “by prophets, seers and revelators.” Can you imagine a more powerful organization? What could an organization like this accomplish? What is its goal?

What is at the heart of the Relief Society? Charity, the pure love of Christ. Relief Society’s motto, “Charity Never Faileth,” is as true today, and beats as strongly in each woman’s heart today as it did in early years. Women are as compassionate today as they were in 1842 when Joseph Smith’s month said in that first Relief Society meeting, “We must cherish [and] watch over one another, comfort one another and gain instruction that we may all sit down in heaven together.” (Lucy Mack Smith, in Relief Society, Minute Book Mar. 1842–Mar. 1844, entry for Mar. 24, 1842, 18–19. Quoted by President Henry B. Eyring in “The Enduring Legacy of Relief Society,” Ensign, Nov. 2009.)

President Henry B. Eyring, of the First Presidency of the Church said, “There are many benevolent groups of women who do great good. There are many who have overpowering feelings of sympathy for the unfortunate, the sick, and the needy. But this organization is unique and has been from its start . . . This society is composed of women whose feelings of charity spring from hearts changed by qualifying for and by keeping covenants offered only in the Lord’s true Church. Their feelings of charity come from Him through His Atonement. . . . Because of that, they have done and are able to do uncommon things for others and to find joy even when their own unmet needs are great.” (Eyring, President Henry B., “The Enduring Legacy of Relief Society,” Ensign, Nov. 2009.)

In every ward of the Church you will find angels in aprons and angels in worn-out jeans, angels in suits working outside the home, angels with many children, and angels who are unmarried, sisters who reach out to others with charity, thoughtfulness, food, time, help, and kindness. They do not need an assignment as a visiting teacher to reach out to their neighbors; they give rides to therapy; they invite others to join them in activities; they watch each other’s children; they give love as well as food. They are true sisters of heart, not of blood.

They do that which each of us covenant to do when we are baptized; it is that which the Alma asked the people to do at the waters of Mormon in Mosiah 18: 8-9 (Book of Mormon), “bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort.” This love, this charity, this compassion, is not something that can be taught in Relief Society lessons; it is taught through sharing love. It is taught sister to sister through each act of charity, each mother to child, each Relief Society generation to generation.

That love, compassion and concern for each other is the heritage of Relief Society. President Eyring said, “You pass the heritage along as you help others receive the gift of charity in their hearts. They will then be able to pass it to others. The history of Relief Society is recorded in words and numbers, but the heritage is passed heart to heart. That is why families are such beneficiaries of Relief Society.” (Eyring, President Henry B., “The Enduring Legacy of Relief Society,” Ensign, Nov. 2009.)

Beck, Julie. “The Purposes of Relief Society". Ensign, Nov 2010.
Eyring, President Henry B. “The Enduring Legacy of Relief Society,”. Ensign, Nov 2009.
Oaks, Elder Dallin. “The Relief Society and the Church". Ensign, May 1992.

Our Adventure to Australia and New Zealand

Part III
Touring on Vacation

:) Comprehensive Guide to Tours: Each hotel we stayed at had a comprehensive booklet of all the tours, and activities in the airport, from the free to the most expensive, with their costs, contacts and all other information. You could take a helicopter flight around the city, climb over the top of the city bridges, deep-sea dive under the ocean, or do a walking tour of the city; it was all available in the book. In Melbourne they even had a Restaurant Tram Tour that visited famous restaurants for a tasting tour. If you had no idea what to do before you went to a country, you could order one of those booklets from each city and plan your own adventures.


:) Great Day Tours—My Thing: The Day Tours we had were very good, and I don’t think you could get the same value by trying to set it up yourself. For example, the Blue Mountains and Australian Wildlife Tour out of Sidney was an all-day bus tour with guided commentary. You were picked up and returned to your hotel and taken on a tour:

• Through the Homebush Bay, site of the 2000 Olympic Games

• Three hours into the Blue Mountains National Park

• A light morning tea and a tour in a township along the way

• A scenic Cliff Drive past the Famous Three Sisters Outcropping and Echo Point

• Have lunch at the Katoomba resort region where we saw an aborigine playing the didgeridoo

• Ride the Railway to the lush hidden valley and explore the rainforest

• Glide out of the valley on the Cableway, taking in the panoramic views of the Jamison Valley.

• Take a ride of the recently unveiled Skyway, a journey 370 meters above the ancient ravines and
dazzling waterfalls

• See the views from Narrowneck and Cahill Lookouts and Megalong Valley

• Visit the Featherdale Wildlife Park where you will get close to cuddly koalas, kangaroos, wombats, dingoes and penguins

• Take Rivercat ride down the Parramatta River



:) Spontaneous Exploring—Ed’s Thing: On the days we didn’t have the guided tours, we had our rail/tram/bus pass and explored the city. This was Ed’s chance to be spontaneous and he really enjoyed it. We took the map and information about the city and explored. We’d suggest one thing we’d like to see; sometimes we’d find it and sometimes we’d find something different that we enjoyed more. We discovered the Chinese Friendship Gardens which I loved, and found so peaceful. We walked all over the Darling Harbour (this is the correct Australian spelling) and got lost several times. We finally found Chinatown and were disappointed with it. I discovered we could walk from our hotel to the Opera House easier than we could take a tram there (Ed begs to differ that it is too long to walk to). We took a Hop-on/Hop-off tour of the City on our own and went to several museums. We enjoyed the celebrations of Chinese New Year and learned how friendly the Australians were to Americans who were trying to find their way around town.




:) Hop On/Hop Off Buses: These were fun ways to get an overview of the city. Each city we visited had one of these buses, and they were a fun way to explore the city in an inexpensive way. We would complete the whole tour and listen to the commentary, then on the second go-around, we would start hopping off to see things. Each bus had two tours—one of the inner city, and another of the outer area. Each tour took about an hour, so you had to start early to see all you wanted to see. A ticket on these, which you could purchase whenever you got on, was usually around $20.00. The blue stops were easy to see, and they came about every 15 to 20 minutes (a little longer on the outer tours) so you never had to wait too long. You could get a one day or two day ticket.



:) Nature Always Has Surprises: A cyclone hit the north of Australia and we congratulated ourselves on missing it—until we got to Melbourne and the tail end of it hit there and dropped seven inches of rain on us in a couple of hours. It caused flash flooding in the streets and flooded the entryway of the hotel basement restaurant where we were eating. The next day we were on a day tour to Phillip Island to see the Penguin March and we got a first-hand tour of the flooded areas around Melbourne, as we were detoured around them. Then we were disappointed in the official penguin parade because we were rained out (but we had already seen plenty of penguins so it wasn’t too bad).



:) Phones Are Handy; Never Leave Home without Them: We were glad we had the phone then as our daughter had seen the floods on the news and called us to see how we were doing; she was worried sick about us and wondered why we hadn’t emailed. We told her about the cost of the internet, and we hope she understood.

Our Adventure to Australia and New Zealand

Part II

In the Country

We arrived in Australia ready to enjoy it fully. Since we were in an English-speaking country, we didn’t have to learn a foreign language, which was very fortunate. However, we still had to cope with some unexpected difficulties.


:) Throw-away Cell Phone: One of the smartest things we did was to purchase a “throw-away” pre-paid cell phone at the Australia airport when we arrived. For $29.00 American money we bought a cheap, but adequate cell phone with $150.00 worth of minutes; for $29.00 more we got another $150.00 more minutes. I immediately texted our phone number to our children so they could contact us in case of an emergency. This phone was good both in Australia and New Zealand and it was cheaper to call the U. S. than to call a local number in Australia. However, calling a local New Zealand phone number (the airlines to confirm our flight) on this Australian phone number ate up almost all our minutes. But the phone was a lifesaver!!!!


:( GPS doesn’t work: Our GPS could never get a satellite so our purchase of the maps was a total waste!!! But it was a good idea that just didn’t work!

:) Electrical Converters: Electricity voltage is not the same anywhere in the world, so you have to have converters to use any electrical items you might have—laptops, curling irons, ipods, etc. Additionally, every electrical outlet is different (to prevent you from plugging your laptop into a 240 watt outlet and zapping your laptop to death). You could rent converters and adapters from the hotel (some charged you for them, while others only asked for a $20.00 deposited that you got back when you returned it).

But they aren’t that expensive, so I purchased both an adapter, and a converter before I left home, and I’m glad I have my own for future travel. My adapter has outlets for anywhere in the world! My converter had two settings—one higher wattage for curling irons that use a lot of electricity and another for lower wattage for most items. Converters and adapters are one thing you CAN’T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT!

:( No Free Internet: The biggest surprise was that our hotels did not have free internet! I guess I was surprised because most hotels in the U. S. have it, but the more expensive the hotel, the more they wanted to charge you for it! From $.76 a minute, to $10.00 for an hour, to $30.00 a day, they seemed to think that only businessmen with an unlimited business account needed an internet account. But if you had to fly from city to city or country to country as we did, it was a necessity.

I ended up paying for it occasionally, but most of the time I took my Ipod touch or laptop to McDonald’s where they had free internet to send an occasional email or Facebook message to let our family and friends know we were alive. I certainly would not want to spend more than 30 minutes to an hour on the internet per day on a holiday, but I feel in this day and age, internet access is a reality, and dark, dingy internet cafes don’t cut it. The hotels had “business centers” but they charged a large fee to use them also. I confirmed my flight and then printed the boarding passes at the airport.

:) Prearranged Shuttles: The best thing the tour agent set up for us was to be picked up at the airport by a shuttle bus and taken to our hotel. That was wonderful, and I would always have that whether I booked through a tour agency or not. It made life so much easier not to worry when you got to the airport—just to hop aboard a scheduled airport shuttle.

Only once did the shuttle fail us and it was at 9:30 pm when we flew into Auckland. There were few shuttles or taxis by the time we cleared customs and baggage. The shuttle we finally convinced to take us on the 40-minute drive to town would only accept New Zealand money (or a premium to use American dollars) so we exchanged money at a high exchange, and paid him. It made us realize how glad we were that we didn’t have to do that on a regular basis.

:( Ask Before You Go: We discovered the hard way that you always ask a cab driver how much it will cost to take you somewhere when you give them the address. They don’t have counters that add up the charges as you travel like most cities have; when you arrive at your destination, they tell you the charge--$90.00 in our case.


:) Use the Local Public Transportation: My husband hates public transportation, and I thought he wouldn’t be caught dead on a tram or a bus, but he adapted right away to it. We found that it was far easier, faster (and cheaper) to get along on the trams than any other way. We bought a five-day public transportation pass for $20.00 and then went everywhere on it. In Sydney and Melbourne there were trams through the inner city that were easy to get on and off, so we rode them until we realized we were lost; then we’d hop off, look at our city map and hop another tram going the right way. Our hotels were downtown so in Sydney we could actually walk everywhere, but Ed would get tired and grab a tram.

Our Adventure to Australia and New Zealand

Part I- Getting Ready to Go

How do you enjoy a vacation? Do you want every moment planned by a tour agent? Do you want to be on your own and explore everything on your own? Do you prefer to travel without an agenda—to be totally spontaneous and decide where you will go each day, and begin the next day where you ended up the night before?


What style a traveler are you? Spontaneous or Super-Scheduled?

Throughout the years as Ed and I have traveled throughout the world, we have compromised in our travel styles. Ed prefers to be totally spontaneous—to travel without plans and see where you end up. That, of course drives me crazy, especially when you have to make reservations in advance at hotels before the end of each day. In addition, I prefer to study and research everywhere we are going so I can understand and appreciate the culture and history of where we will be traveling. Which has been fine with Ed; I have explained the history and culture about where we are when we get there. That way, Ed can be spontaneous and I can be ready for wherever we end up. But to do that, I have to be psychic and know where we will be at the end of the day!

Planning for the Trip:


Our trip to Australia and New Zealand was more planned than Ed preferred. We had reservations in each city, we knew how long we would be there, and we had several planned tours in each city (that was at my insistence). I had studied and read a book, The History of Australia and New Zealand, so I had a very basic understanding of their history. I had a copy of the book on my kindle so I could refer to it whenever I needed. (I also purchased another history when we got into a discussion with another couple about whether Maoris were cannibals as that book claimed). I also had purchased, Aborigines, Dreams and Myths, by William Ramsay Smith, and BLUE LATITUDE, BOLDLY GOING WHERE CAPTAIN COOK HAS GONE BEFORE , by Tony Horiwitz. I also watched the movie Australia, which is very important to understand the aborigine history of the country.


:) Know What You Want to Do before You Go: We had studied the travel guides and asked people what to see and do so we had a list of activities scheduled when we talked to the travel agent, so she set up the tours we asked her to set up. We only had her schedule one or two tours per city (during a week-long stay). That was more than enough for my husband—he wanted to do more exploring on his own, than guided tours.


:)Travel Guides: I bought several travel guides before we went to Australia including Frommer’s Australia and Fodor’s Australia. Frommer’s was by far more helpful, with information on hotels, restaurants, transportation, how to get visa’s and everything you needed to know; Fodor’s told you what to see and that was all. If a person did not want to use a travel agency, you could use Frommer’s and the internet and the activity booklets from the hotels and get along just fine.

:)High Tech Traveling: Ed and I both have a background in technology, so I wanted to go high-tech in my traveling.

• I brought my GPS and downloaded a city-explorer map of Sidney and Melbourne, Australia on my GPS so we could get around with it.

• I carried my ipod touch and my laptop with me.

• As mentioned before, I had a kindle with many books (so I didn’t have to carry a suitcase full of books), and the ability to download any books I needed to understand the history, culture and or anything else I needed to know about Australia and New Zealand.

• I had electricity converters and adapters so I could use my electronic equipment.

• I brought a small bag with all my electronic attachments, plugs, chargers, etc.

:)Cameras: I brought two cameras with me to catch the memories of our trip; one single-reflex camera with a wide-angle lens, standard lens, and a telephoto lens; and a small camera that would fit in my purse that went from wide angle and micro to telephoto. I downloaded the images from them to my laptop each night.

TO BE CONTINUED: Part II: Arriving in Australia

“Your Son Needs You!”

Fay Hansen died on a warm June night in 1980.

He was recovering from his second coronary bypass when he had a fatal reaction to the morphine administered to him for pain. He felt his heart go wild, then collapse in on itself. One minute he was struggling vainly to quiet his racing heart, panicked and afraid; the next moment, overwhelming peace and relief wiped away the terror. One minute doctors and nurses were fussing and fretting, trying to stabilize him; the next, the room was full of old friends and relatives in white.

Fay saw his father first, smiling in the warm, loving way he always had. Fay realized then that he had died in the frantic moments that his heart was out of control, because his father had departed life nearly a half century before.

"You've come for me," Fay thought as he recognized familiar faces of friends and family who had died many years before. "I am through with this life." It was an overwhelming peace that enveloped Fay, a wonderful relief from the pain that was his constant companion.

"Are you ready to go?" Fay's father asked him.

The thought of leaving the pain, the struggles behind seemed so inviting that Fay wanted with all his heart to say "Yes." But something nagged at him. There was something that was not yet done.

"Haven't you forgotten something?" Fay's father asked gently. Fleeting thoughts of all seven of his children raced through his mind. Six were married with families of their own. His youngest daughter, Ann, although unmarried, was doing well and was active in the Church.

With instant clarity, a nagging feeling of what was left undone overwhelmed Fay. If he left the earth at this moment, what would happen to his youngest son? This son had been given the name of his grandfather, the big, kindly man standing before Fay. Will was a good man, but he had become estranged in a subtle way from the rest of the family.

"Will is not very close to the family." Fay told his father. "I can't do any more to reach him." Fay looked in vain among the crowd for the wife who had died nearly twenty years before. He could see old friends from half a century before, his brother, his cousin. However, he could not see his first wife among the individuals in white.

"Your son needs you," Fay's father gently reminded him.

Fay thought of this youngest son, who was so like the grandfather whom he had been named after. He was kind, thoughtful, reserved, and very friendly. There was no outright break from the family, but ever since Fay had married (a second time) to Donna, who had eight children of her own, Will had gone his own way.

"Are you really ready to leave this earth?" Fay's father asked him, his eyes searing Fay to the soul. "Are you ready to leave things as they are at this moment?" As much as Fay wanted to shrug off the pain, sorrow, and struggles that had been his life, he knew that he'd be leaving work undone. And Fay was not one to shirk away from duty.

"But what can I do to unite my family?" Fay asked. "What more can I do that I have not already done?" Fay's thoughts bubbled up like a pot boiling over, but as they struck the tall man facing him, they fizzled and evaporated. Would Fay be happy if he left things as they were that day? No. He knew—as tempting as the prospect appeared—it wasn't right.

"Can I have more time? Can I try again to find the way to strengthen my family?" The thoughts came unbidden to Fay's mind as his father smiled back at him with a joy that filled the room. Suddenly the room full of people dressed in white vanished.

Overwhelming pain enveloped Fay like a damp, heavy cloth, smothering the peace he'd felt so recently. Voices and noises scattered the lingering remnants.

"I have a heartbeat," a woman's voice cried triumphantly.

Fay tried in vain to capture again the fleeting image of his father smiling in the old familiar way, but it was gone.

"Fay, you old rascal," he recognized the intensive care doctor calling to him from afar. "You sure gave us a good scare that time." Reluctantly Fay opened his eyes to the familiar hospital room.

"We almost lost you that time," the nurse said, smiling, her stethoscope pressed against his aching chest. "Your heart became arrhythmic and went out of control. But you're back."

The constant pain shrouded Fay until he prayed for the oblivion of sleep. But he couldn't lose the urgency that there was something important he needed to do. Something he couldn't forget again. Several times during the recovery which had been only temporarily halted by his anaphylactic reaction to the morphine, Fay almost forgot what he still had to do.

Several times when he felt it had slipped away from him, he'd open his eyes and see two white figures standing by the window. They would smile at him, and again he would feel their love reach across the room to him. He would then remember his son, Will, and know that he, too, must reach out in love to him.

When his wife, Donna, arrived and heard about the incident wherein Fay had died, she clucked over him like a mother hen. Fay then shared with her what had happened to him during the frantic few minutes he had been clinically "dead."

"There is something important I need to do," Fay explained. "We haven't been all together as a family for years. It is important that we do so." Two months later Fay's seven children and their families gathered together in Mueller Park for a short reunion. Will and Lois laughed with the others and the family drew closer than they had for a long time.

Surprisingly, that was not the end of the story. There was another chapter that did not come out until 12 years later at another family reunion—this one at Fish Lake in Southern Utah.

At a family testimony meeting Fay and Donna testified of our ancestors love for all the family. The story was told of the night Grandpa William Hansen came and reminded Fay that his “son” that needed him.

Then Dale, (Donna’s youngest son) asked if he could tell his side of the same story. Tears shown in his eyes as he explained that at the time of Fay's “death,” Dale was serving as a missionary in Argentina. Donna's younger children had accepted Fay with open hearts when he had married her. Surprisingly, Dale had grown closer to Fay than to his own father.

When Dale left on his mission, he had been concerned about Fay’s health, which wasn’t very good. Donna had promised to keep him informed of any problems. Soon afterward, Fay underwent his first coronary by-pass, and Donna had sent a telegram to Dale. The message about Fay's surgery and recovery took so long to reach Dale that when the second coronary by-pass was scheduled, Donna decided not to worry Dale until it was all over.

Dale, however, didn't need a letter or telegram to know that Fay was very ill and that he might die. The same day Fay had his surgery, Dale had awoke from a vivid dream wherein he saw Jenny, Fay's deceased first wife, and others waiting to welcome Fay into the spirit world. Dale recognized Jenny though he had never met her in this life, and knew that she was eagerly awaiting Fay’s arrival.

The fear that Fay would die upset Dale so much that he asked his missionary companion to join him in a special fast and prayer. Dale pleaded with the Lord to spare Fay. He explained that he had just learned to appreciate Fay as the father he'd never had before then. He cried that he still had many activities—fishing, hunting—that he wanted to do with Fay. During a long, anxious day Dale and his companion worried and prayed. That night Dale received a confirmation of the spirit, that the Lord had heard his plea and that Fay would be spared. He felt peace that Fay would be fine.

It was very late that evening, (not weeks later, as before) when Dale received a telegram that told him that Fay had had another coronary surgery. Donna explained in the telegram that although there had been some problems, Fay was recovering. Dale was never told that Fay had died after the surgery, or that he had experienced a visit from his father while he was clinically dead.

On that starlit night around a campfire in 1992, tears flowed as Dale recalled the experience he had endured at the time of Fay’s “death.” He shared his immense feeling of gratitude that his prayer had been answered; that Fay had been spared because “his son” needed him.

Which son needed Fay that night when his heart stopped? Perhaps both. Only Fay’s father knows—and he can’t tell us.