“Where Did I Put That?”

As we age, we tend to lose things more than before, but I began to lose things years ago. Maybe that’s because I began to lose my mind years ago.

I still get frustrated when I can’t find something—especially if I have just put it down. One

thing I always lose are my glasses. Therefore I have decided to put them in a special place on my china case, which is right inside our house, whether you come in from the upstairs or downstairs. However they still go missing.

Before we had to move to Los Angeles for nine months a few years ago I made a master plan of my house, put alphabetic stickers on everything which could hold anything (where it couldn’t be seen) and made a map with matching alphabetic keys which told what was in each storage area. I thought then I could remember what was in each storage area while I was gone. Then if I needed something, I could call my son who was living in the house and say, “Send me the ___________ which is the drawer labeled “EE” in my dressing room.

It worked well enough until I lost the map with the key.

When I got back, I started rearranging things and there went my plan. I found most of the time I can’t find stuff is right after I’ve gone through stuff, gotten rid of stuff and reorganized things. (There, family, I do go through and get rid of things—you thought I never did.)

For the first while after I’ve rearranged things, I can’t remember where the new thing belongs!!!

I have decided there are four reasons things disappear in my house:

1. My youngest son: He hides them to frustrate me. No, he is not a child—he is 27 years old, but he likes to tease me and move my glasses or purse just to see how frustrated I can get. I admit this isn’t often, but it does happen.

• The worst thing he did was not on purpose. We had gone to L. A. for medical reasons and I’d stopped the mail and paper so he wouldn’t have to deal with it. My husband ended up in the hospital and we stayed 10 days longer than we’d planned so I called and told him to put the mail in a pile on the kitchen table.
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• We came home, I went through the mail and paid the bills. The next month I got dunned for a bill I hadn’t seen the while we were gone. I asked my son about it, and he led me to another stash of mail that hadn’t made it out of the basement and was buried under his clothes. It contained the bill I hadn’t paid.
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• The worst thing he claimed wasn't his fault at all. He was borrowing my laptop at night when I was using it during the day at the hospital while my husband was hospitalized. One morning I was in a rush to go to the hospital and I could find the laptop in one place, the power cord in another and no sign of the cord. He'd already gone to work and I couldn't reach him. 
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• I texted him, "where is my mouse?" and left for the hospital. When I got to the hospital I got his text, "It is on top of the cabinet." Now remember he is 6 feet 2 inches tall and I am five feet 2 inches tall. Would I ever find a mouse on the top of a cabinet? He hasn't used my laptop since. 

2. My oldest daughter: She comes to my house and cleans and everything left out goes

into a box and into a closet. I usually try to straighten up before she comes because anything that is left out is fair game for her. She just puts it into a box for me to put away “at my leisure.” 

But then I can’t find the box with my purse, keys, glasses, and the important papers that I was working on when she came. She has to come and tell me where the treasure box is hiding out. But I appreciate her help with cleaning more than the hassle of finding the stuff she puts away, so she’s a keeper cleaner.

3. Curse of the Gadianton Robbers: We live in the Last Days, which has been prophesied as a day when wickedness will be prevalent that no one will be able to hold onto their treasures. The Book of Mormon scriptures mention that the people will be so wicked that the land will be cursed so no one can find their treasures: I don’t envision robbers coming to steal my stuff. Neither is the stuff I can’t find real “treasures” except to me, but when I can’t find something important I remember the curse upon the land that makes all things “slippery.”

• “Helaman 13:34: Behold, we lay a tool here and on the morrow it is gone; and behold, our swords are taken from us in the day we have sought them for battle.”
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•  Book of Mormon 1: 18 “And these Gadianton robbers, who were among the Lamanites, did infest the land, insomuch that the inhabitants thereof began to hide up their treasures in the earth; and they became slippery, because the Lord had cursed the land, that they could not hold them, nor retain them again.”

4. IL Folletto: When we lived in Italy years ago, I studied Italian at the University and through a conversation Italian class taught by the dearest Italian lady, Angela Buvoli. She taught us all about the customs, history, culture, folklore and other things about Italy that we’d never learn in a book. She told us the story of Il Folletto.

• The dictionary says a folletto is an elfin, elf-like, mischievous, playful, sprightly, genie, gremlin, or pixie.
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•  Wikipedia’s explanation is not as innocent: “The folletto is a legendary creature typical of the folk tradition generally depicted as being a small, joker, agile and elusive, able to fly and become invisible. In folklore European shares similar characteristics with . . . the brownies , the puck, the goblin and leprechaun .Lives in burrows in the woods especially conifers or at the homes of men, courtyards and barns. Almost always comes out only at night to have fun doing mischief to the beasts of the stables and mess up the hair of beautiful women, cluttering agricultural tools and household objects”

4. La Signora Buvoli’s Folletto: Her idea of a folletto was a tiny mischievous elf who lived inside the house and was attracted to shiny objects. He came out at night and would sometimes take with him shiny objects that were lying around the house, especially if they were not put away. However, the folletto was attracted to millet (grain) and if you left a little bowl out of him, he would get busy counting the grains of millet and leave your items alone. 

So you could fool him by putting your things away correctly in their drawers, shelves, etc. all the time, or leave a bowl of millet out for him to count. Then he wouldn’t steal your items away and you’d never find them—or you’d find them in a new place, when he decided to return them.

So, who is the real culprit when I lose something and can’t find it? 

Perhaps all of the above, but I admit I am most likely the biggest culprit for not putting things away where they should have put it away, and for trying to find new ways to organize things. And of course, my poor memory.

We Are All the Pioneers of Our Own Lives

Pioneer Day is a day to remember our ancestors and the struggles they overcame coming to America and settling the Salt Lake Valley. As I recall my pioneers, the ones who crossed the plains, I tried to look at them with a different eye—as though I were their contemporary.

Hans & Caroline were from Bornholm, Denmark

I think of my one set of ancestors, Caroline Larsen, 21 years old, from Ostermarie, Bornholm, and Hans Miller, 28 years old, from Nexo, Bornholm, Danish sweethearts. Bornholm is an Island seven miles by seventeen miles which is south east of Sweden. Caroline was a very popular girl with lots of friends, while Hans was older, well-educated leader in the church, trained as a shoemaker. 

Hans’ father was well-to-do as partner in a windmill, who had taken on the permanent name of “Miller” as his last name so all of his three children had Miller as their last name, instead of the normal tradition of the father’s first name added to son as their last name. After his baptism at the age of 20, he was valiant as a missionary, and in many leadership positions. His history says that because of his proficiency in English, “He was called to Copenhagen especially to teach English - - a language in which he was quite proficient - - to the converts who expected to emigrate. In Copenhagen he was counselor to the president of the conference.[i]”

One history states that they met on the journey and fell in love, but another written by her daughter indicates that they were sweethearts before they left Denmark. From hints in Caroline’s story, we can tell she was a friendly, sociable lady who left friends behind. A quote from later in her story crossing the plain tells of a tornado striking, which “carried away along with small keepsakes from her girlhood and her home among which were some poems and eulogies written to her on her nineteenth birthday that her friends had celebrated in her honor, and tin-type photographs of her relatives and friends.   To mother’s last days she was saddened when she recalled her loss.” 

A story tells that when Caroline was getting ready to

Caroline (here a representation) ran 18 Danish miles to catch the ship

leave for the ship going to America “she took so long saying goodbye to everyone, especially an uncle, that she missed the boat taking the people to the ship. However she knew that it would be at anchor farther up the line, and although on March 19 she had to walk 19 Danish miles in an all-day rain to catch the ship, she made it. If she had not gone, she would have been left behind.[ii]” I think of this popular young lady, who may have had the “late” streak that often runs in our family, she did what she had to do to "do it."

They came on the "Franklin" clipper ship arriving in New York on 29 May 1862

Arriving in America, Hans, because of his ability to speak English, was able to go to New York and arrange for train transportation to Nebraska for the group, and he and Caroline were able to see the sights in New York. Hans’ history stated they disembarked at “Ellis Island” and went through customs there, but study has shown that they actually went through Castle Garden, the first official immigration center.[iii]

Although Hans and Caroline had

planned to wait until arriving in Salt Lake City and to be married in the Endowment House for all eternity, it didn’t work out that way. “Father contracted a fever and became so ill that he could not leave with the friends with whom he had crossed the ocean with and whose leader he had been.[iv]” Caroline needed to take care of him, so they married on 22 June 1862 in Florence, Douglas  County, Nebraska.

While waiting in Omaha to go west, they found work in the fields. Hans must have recovered from his illness, because his history explains what happened on 16 July 1862: “One day while father was working in the fields, a black cloud appeared in the south-west sky.   The American workmen began to run, and soon threw themselves upon the ground.   Father and other immigrants followed their lead, wondering what the excitement was about.  They soon found out.    A tornado had struck followed by the inevitable rain ending in a flood.[v]”

A Compilation of General Voyage Notes[vi] gives us further information about this tornado:

They experienced their first tornado near present-day Omaha

“The rest of the emigrants remained in camp for several weeks before beginning the journey across the plains. A few days before the company left camp, Florence and vicinity was visited by a terrible tornado, accompanied by rain, thunder and lightning, by which two of the brethren were killed and Elder Joseph W. Young received severe wounds from a wagon box which blew down upon him; after the accident, he was carried to a place of safety in an unconscious condition, but recovered after a while. The tents and wagon covers of the company were badly torn and shattered on that occasion. . . .”

Caroline Margaret Larsen Miller

Hans and Caroline came to Utah in J. R. Murdock’s, company leaving Omaha, 24 July 1862. His history states they walked most of the way to Salt Lake City, and arrived in Salt Lake City 27 September 1862, where they “stopped at the old Tithing House where the Hotel Utah now stands.  Here they were met by P. M. Peel, the same man who, in Nexo, had brought the missionaries to my grandfather’s home.[vii]”

Their first home in Utah was in Mt. Pleasant, which had been settled two years earlier, and where Mr. Peel lived. Hans was certified as a school teacher, but he also worked as a shoemaker during their time in Mt. Pleasant. It was here their first child was born exactly one month later. It was a small cabin with a “lean-to” as a second room.”

In the fall of 1864, Orson Hyde called a group to settle Sanpete County and the Sevier River, especially that area that had had such a bountiful harvest of barley that its name had been changed from Omni to Richfield. Hans’ family was among those called.

A comment from Hans’ history tells of Caroline’s introduction to this area that Elijah

Ward an old mountaineer had called “the finest country in Utah.”

“He [Hans] with others left that autumn - - 1864 - - to prepare places for their families to live.   These men did what a few men - - who had settled earlier had done - - they dug cellars, placed a willow-dirt roof over the excavation, formed steps out of the soil leading to the entrance, and brought their wives and children.[viii]”

“Arriving in Richfield, Mother surveyed a barren valley surrounded by mountains and a ditch flowing crookedly along, almost lost in willows and greasewood; and mounds rising or two feet among the greasewood [brush).[ix]”

“When Father stopped at a ‘mound’ and gravely said, ‘Well, here we are, Mother,’ [Caroline] with tears in her eyes asked, ‘Is this home?’ Caroline had a child a little more than a year old to take care of, a second child to be born in mid-spring!   She sat down and wept.[x]”

“A cellar, a dirt floor, a roof of willows covered with soil, steps that had been cut with

Photo of dugout near Salina Utah

a shovel deep into the soil leading to the entrance. The entrance was not a door; lumber could not be used carelessly in a cellar. A canvas of some sort was hung to keep out the cold, no windows. Father was working hard to make enough adobes (molded from the clay and placed in the sun to dry) to build a little one-room house with a window and a door. Before the roof was put on, rail fell. Father hurriedly made a roof of willows, covered it with damp soil, gathered dry grass and scattered it over the damp dirt.[xi]”

 One more comment from Hans’ history tells about Caroline’s struggles. “A little incident about the ‘cellar’ recalls the extreme poverty these early pioneers went through.   Father was working early and late to make enough adobes to build a little house.   Mother had prepared dinner as best she could and went to call father to come in.   Standing chatting for a moment while he put the mud mixture into the adobe mold, one corner of the cellar roof caved in.   Mother made an exclamation of dismay.   Father answered, ‘Our roof is gone, but so is our dinner for today!’   And so it was.[xii]”

        

Later photo of Caroline

Hans and Caroline became stalwart founders of the Richfield area; Hans was a school teacher for many years, later served as tithing clerk, Superintendent of Schools, postmaster, president of the Quorum of the Seventy for many years and a leader in many other ways. Caroline had eleven children, was chosen as Mrs. Utah one year, and rode in the Fourth of July parade. She looked beautiful, dressed in white with a crown on her white hair and a banner, reading, "Utah We Love Thee."  Later she was one of the nine original pioneers chosen to be honored at the 50^th Anniversary of the founding of Richfield in September 1914.

I think of the little I know of their early years—

Photo of Hans Peter Miller, Sr.

Caroline, friendly, sociable, but determined to get along in this hard new world. Hans, educated, obedient, a leader, but willing to build and live in a dugout if that was necessary. They hadn’t been raised to live in such a raw, new world, but they did it.

Many young couples today go out into the world with high hopes and optimistic dreams, but when life hands them lemons, or blows their life apart with illness or disaster, they soldier on, making do with whatever is necessary just as Hans and Caroline did. They know that eventually things will get better and someday they will be the pioneers of their lives and others will look back at that and say, “How did you do that, Grandma?” “Grandpa, I can’t believe that you didn’t give up when that happened.” They will remember that they are the pioneer of their own life and say, “I did it because I had to, and so will you! That is what this life is about.”

Caroline Margaret Larsen Miller as Mrs. Utah

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[i] Miller, Eudora: “The Life of Hans Peter Miller, Sr.,” written 1846, p. 6

[ii] Miller, Eudora: “A History of Caroline Margaret Larsen Miller”

[iii] Castle Garden, today known as Castle Clinton National Monument, is the major landmark within The Battery, the 23 acre waterfront park at the tip of Manhattan. From 1855 to 1890, the Castle was America's first official immigration center, a pioneering collaboration of New York State and New York City.

[iv] Miller, Ibid., “The Life of Hans Peter Miller, Sr.,p. 6

[v] Miller, Ibid., “The Life of Hans Peter Miller, Sr.,p. 6

[vi] the Voyage from Denmark to New York City, 1862, from the MORMON IMMIGRATION INDEX (CD-ROM) Voyage of the Ship Franklin: https://familysearch.org/photos/stories/1367886

[vii] Miller, Ibid., “The Life of Hans Peter Miller, Sr.,p. 7

[viii] Miller, Ibid., “The Life of Hans Peter Miller, Sr., p. 8

[ix] Miller, Adeare, “Unpublished History of Caroline Larsen Miller.”  In Ten Penny Nails, Op Cit., p. 21. (Sevier County General Plan: 1998: Sevier County History and Communities Land of the Sleeping Rainbow : Chapter 10); http://www.sevierutah.net/general%20plan/Chapter%2010.pdf     

[x] Miller, Ibid., “The Life of Hans Peter Miller, Sr., p. 8

[xi]Miller, Adeare, Ibid: p. 21.

[xii] Miller, Ibid., “The Life of Hans Peter Miller, Sr.,p. 8

Grocery Shopping with Your Young Children

When I was young and child free, I loved to go shopping! Even as a young wife, I enjoyed grocery shopping, thinking how I would make loving meals for my new husband. But having young children made grocery shopping sheer torture. 

My husband with the three grocery-store monsters

The first thing you realize when shopping with young children is that it’s going to take twice as long as when you’re alone. One child will go one way; another child will disappear the other way and you’ll be looking for them—not shopping for what you came to buy.

Some mothers have admitted being tempted to pretend they don’t have any children until they’ve completed shopping. If they hear someone say, “Look at that awful child who knocked over the display,” and even though they know it is hers child, she’ll say, “Where on earth is his mother?” Then after her groceries are in the car, she sneaks back in the store and retrieves them.

However, abandoning your child can lead to disaster as one mother discovered when she found her daughter starting on the third of box of expensive Godiva chocolates (not to mention the doctor bill when the child was sick from eating so much). Another mother found her stray child crawling up the down elevator and causing all kinds of traffic problems. The possibilities are endless, but the least is that your child will pull everything off the shelves, and create chaos. So most mothers shop for a moment, retrieve a child, shop a little, retrieve another child, etc., ad nauseam.

Children love to race through stores, chasing each other, dodging other shoppers, and you can never keep up with them carrying the baby. Then you end up crashing into someone just as you are ready to grab the delinquents. You apologize profusely while the children race away. The baby loves the “race” (you walk fast, never run, but the baby gets bounced around anyway). When you finally catch the racers, you can either bribe them with a treat if they stay by your side, or threaten them if they don’t—whichever works best for you.

You must be careful to watch that they don’t throw everything in the cart—they will sneak in their favorite treats while their cohort detracts your attention. When you look down you will find all kinds of things you don’t allow in your house in your cart and two innocent looking children smiling. And of course they will have damaged them so you can’t put them back.

Even when you use shopping carts, this doesn’t solve a problem. Often putting all the small children in the shopping carts only centralizes the problem; the children stand up, lean over, or fall out of the cart. Right in the middle of checking the number of grams of fat, proteins and carbs in a food you are considering buying, you’ll hear a scream from someone and turn just in time to catch the baby in one hand as he falls out of the cart and the toddler in the other hand as the cart topples—without dropping the item. You also save the cart from hitting anyone or anything with your foot and make it look it look like a trick and not a disaster. (But look at what coordination you are developing--you could be training to be a gymnastic!)

But eventually you get all your acquisitions in your shopping cart, with the children, and pay for your purchases, looking fresh and cool as a Stepford Wife. If half of your items make it to the checkout in its original condition, consider yourself lucky. 

“Did you realize these sunglasses are broken, Ma’am?”

“Yes, my son stepped on them.”

“This birthday card is soiled. Do you want to get a new one?”

“No, my son stepped on that, also.”

“This magazine is all torn up, Ma’am. And it is about How to grow Orchids in Fiji. Surely. . . “

“My daughter destroyed it. Add it to my purchases. She can destroy the rest of it at home.”

“Oh, my goodness, Ma’am, this pie has something awful on top of it!”

“I know. My baby spit up on it. Luckily it is a type of pie we like and we can eat the rest of it.”

“Are you sure you want this bag of candy? It is half eaten and it is smeared with chocolate hand prints.”

“Yes, my oldest child did that.” 

Even though you pay for the damage, you wonder if you dare go back to that grocery store ever again. 

Or you could let your husband take them to the grocery store. Ha! As if that would happen! But what fun if it would be if he did!