A Father's Legacy

My father was an ordinary, blue-collar man. He never accumulated great wealth, or served as president of an organization, auxiliary or club. He never wrote a book, invented a new machine, won war medals, or did anything to make him well known or famous. When he died, there were no buildings or streets named after him, no colleges endowed by him, or long obituaries written for him.

What legacy did he then leave for his children? He left a legacy of a strong work ethic, a willingness to help others, a love of learning, loving support, and a testimony of Christ.

When I was young, I never realized my father had a testimony, because it was hard for him to show it. I assumed he believed in the gospel because he always took us to Church. However, because he was shy or whatever—I don’t know why—he never blessed, baptized, confirmed, or ordained any of us older children. He did participate in priesthood confirmations and ordinations, so I never felt deprived. That was just how it was. Looking back, I never recall a time when he gave me a father’s blessing during my early years, but maybe I never asked him for one.

I never saw my father gradually take on the mantle of noble patriarch of his family, because after I married, my husband’s work took me far from my childhood home. Even after my mother’s death, as Dad remarried and reared a second family, I was never around to see him magnify his priesthood.

My sister was more fortunate because she lived only a couple of miles from Dad. It was Dad who blessed and named her first son, who helped ordain her husband to the Melchizedek Priesthood, and who participated in all of her sons’ ordinations. He came to their Family Home Evenings and always participated. She recalls that every Christmas Dad would tell of his love of Heavenly Father.

It was 25 years later, when we moved back in my home state with children of our own, that I realized what a strong family leader my father had become. He participated in every ordinance that his many children and grandchildren received. He gave my children and grandchildren priesthood blessings, and I received several very special father’s blessings that I will never forget. He went to the temple with each prospective missionary, and sat in the special place of honor at their weddings.

It was in May of 1998 that I first heard my father bear his testimony. He had helped name and bless a nephew’s newest baby, and afterwards he stood in the fast and testimony meeting and bore a simple, heartfelt testimony.

“So many of my family are here today, that I can’t let this opportunity pass without letting them know I have a testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel,” my father said gripping his canes to keep his balance. “I love the Savior. I know he hears and answers our prayers. I know that we have a prophet at the head of this Church.”

My brothers and sisters and I looked at each other in amazement, because although we had assumed our father had a testimony, we had never heard him bear it before. How grateful we were for that treasured testimony, because not long afterwards he suffered a massive heart attack and never had the opportunity to bear his testimony in public again.

Although my father had difficulty expressing his testimony, his life was a testament of his concern and love for others. He was always the first to help someone in need, to mow someone’s lawn, or fix someone’s car. He shared the bounty of his gardens with everyone.

My father was always intrigued by technology and progress. I recall that we had one of the first television sets in 1950 before there were many channels or shows broadcast. He never lost that enthusiasm for learning new things, and in his 80s, he embraced computers, e-mail, and scanners. I’ll never forget his words in the Intensive Care unit, “I can’t die yet. I haven’t learned how to use my scanner yet.”

My father attended all of our activities and those of our children. He sat through countless recitals, concerts, plays, and games as he cheered his posterity on, and took us out for ice cream afterwards.

Like many of his generation, he was a hard-working man, who expected us to carry our own loads. But, even as he taught us to work hard, he helped us realize how exciting work and training can be.

Although my father found it difficult to express his love when we were young, he more than made up for it telling us how much he loved us in his later years. We never left his home, but that he said, “I love you and appreciate all you’ve done for me.” You knew it wasn’t ritual or meaningless phrases, but came from his heart.

Although his faith was a quiet, unspoken kind, he demonstrated it in countless ways. I recall a time when I was living in Hawaii and had to have a biopsy of my breast. Because my mother had died of breast cancer, everyone was very worried. My father organized a special family fast, and gathered everyone together afterwards for a special family prayer. I wasn’t aware of the fast, but half a world away, I felt the effect of their faith and prayers, when I had a special answer—I felt a peace enfold me that helped me face the challenges ahead. It was a real demonstration to me of my father’s and my family’s faith.

Faith cannot be weighed on a mortal scale. Nor can the value of a father’s example be counted in coin or currency. The worth of a life is not always reflected in the number of scholarships endowed, or buildings bearing one’s name. It may not even be measured by the length of a man’s obituary.

Sometimes a man’s legacy is reflected only obliquely through his posterity’s faith, lives and testimonies.

What Is In Your Children's Spiritual Storehouse?

Recently my brother wrote a blog on what he called “inherited faith”—people sharing the faith of their parents because that is what they were taught. They follow the faith of their family as a tradition, not as a conviction, or because they are truly converted to that faith. He wrote: “To me that is almost as deeply felt faith as saying ‘I drink 7-UP because my parents drank it and I see no reason to try anything else I might like better.’”

It made me think about how you influence your children to gain a testimony of your church or your faith. They cannot rely on your testimony for long after they become adults and question everything, so what do you do during their growing years to help them (1. Want to worship the same religion as you do? and (2. Know how to recognize and gain a testimony of the religion?

The first question presupposes that you are happy with your faith and want your children to follow in your faith, which I feel in most cases is true. If you are not happy with your faith, you wouldn’t care if they followed your faith, but would want them to be good Christian, God-fearing, ethical people, regardless of which religion they chose.

But if you were devout, you probably would want your children to know God, to trust in Him, to follow His precepts, and make worship an integral part of their lives as you have made it part of yours. What would you do during your child rearing to encourage your children to live such a life?

Of course, you would go to church regularly, pray daily, study scriptures frequently, keep the commandments, spend quality family time together, love each other and show that love by how they interact with each other. I am sure most Christian families do these things automatically. I would like to suggest one other thing that might make the most difference—something that is a part of much of what these families routinely do, and take for granted—encourage the activities that help family members feel the spirit of God.

In an article published in the Deseret News on July 24, 2009, National Public Radio's religion correspondent Barbara Bradley Hagerty, author of the book, Fingerprints of God, stated that, "51 percent of people in this country report having had a ‘transformative spiritual experience that they can't ignore.’"

That would only make sense as we read in the Book of Mormon, in Moroni 7: 16, “the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; . . . for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.”

I feel it is the spiritual feelings that we have in our church experiences (and in other sacred experiences) that are the foundations of our testimonies of both the existence of a God, and the truth of our own sect or faith. We cannot manufacture these feelings for others, but we can create an atmosphere in the home where this feeling can be felt, and the family members can know what it feels like and recognize it when they feel it again.

Also, Moroni’s promise in Moroni 10:5, “And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things” is so reassuring—knowing that you can pray to know the truth of something and encouraging family members to pray for that truth, is empowering. It refers not only to spiritual things, but to all things! However, when it comes to your faith, you are not relying on your parents’ word—you are receiving your own spiritual revelation or testimony of the truth. How important it is then that you are accustomed to praying to know the truth of important things? How important is it to know how to recognize the spirit that testifies of that truth!

I remember when I received my testimony of the Book of Mormon. I had read it and had prayed, trusting in Moroni’s specific promise about the Book of Mormon in Moroni 10: 3-5 “Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things . . . and ponder it in your hearts . . . I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.”

I remember the wonderful feeling of assurance, of knowledge, of faith, of spiritual power that flowed through me that this Book of Mormon was not just another book, but true revelation. The thought, a testimony of either Brigham Young or Parley Pratt that I had once read came forcefully to my mind by the spirit: “God or the devil has written this book, for man never wrote it.” As I remembered those words, I knew they were true; the Book of Mormon had been revealed to Joseph Smith and translated by the power of the Holy Ghost. I recognized the spirit that testified to me from the times as a child I had felt the spirit when I had been given a blessing of healing, or been present at a time when someone was given a blessing and the spirit was very strong.

I remember a young man telling me that he had prayed to know if the church was true—if President Hinckley (who was then the president of the church) was a prophet. He hadn’t received an answer to his prayer until he was watching General Conference. While President Hinckley was talking, this young man said he was filled with the most overpowering feeling that President Hinckley was indeed a prophet a God, and the church was true! He recognized the spirit that testified to him and knew it was from God.

These spiritual feelings are what we remember that make up our “testimony” and strengthen us during our dark days when it seems there is no hope in the world. I remember another young man who had not been active in his church for a number of years when he attended his aunt’s funeral.

His aunt and uncle had been prominent in the church on the east coast and Elder Zwick, a general authority who had worked with them spoke at the funeral. Elder Zwick talked about the aunt and told some personal experiences he’d shared with her. At the end of the funeral, this young man mentioned to me how impressed he was with Elder Zwick’s comments. He said he felt a power in his talk that he hadn’t felt before. The closing song at the funeral was “How Great Thou Art,” and afterwards this young man asked his sister about it. She mentioned it was a common song, which she’d sung many times before. He then asked her if she heard the extra people singing. She said no, she had not, but that she was crying hard at the time! This young man (who no one would call very spiritual) said that he felt very strongly during the closing song, that he could hear others, besides the audience, singing and he knew they were family who’d passed away that were there—singing and praising the Lord.

These are the kind of spiritual experiences, which testify of God, and bring us to church each Sunday to renew our faith and regain that feeling. It is what prompts us to pray, and read the scriptures and keep the commandments so we can be receptive to the spirit. It is what prompts us to be worthy and to go to the temple. It is what helps us recognize when others are speaking by the spirit. “For when a man speaketh by the power of the Holy Ghost the power of the Holy Ghost carrieth it unto the hearts of the children of men.” (2 Nephi 33:1.)

What can we give our children while they are young to help them find their spiritual path to God? To help them gain a testimony that will sustain them through their life? To help them trust and love God? Is it the traditions of our church? The happiness of our home and family? The habits of attending church? All of these are wonderful, necessary and provide them with a pattern for happiness, but I feel that one of the most important “gifts” you can give your children is spiritual experiences.

When “the young experience the gospel and its fruits and know it is true. Then nobody has to tell them; they experience it,” Elder Neal A. Maxwell explained in a February 1978 Liahona article “These experiences will give each of your young people a storehouse of spiritual experiences on which he can draw, much as our people can draw upon the supplies of food and clothing have laid away.”

Are we providing the opportunities for our young children to gain a storehouse of spiritual experiences on which they can draw when they become older and need to develop a testimony? Or are we only providing them with a supply of food and clothing that they will outgrow?