Parable of the GPS

We are all on a journey on this earth, born without a map, with no known destination, no markers along the road. As we grow older, we realize our destination—Exaltation, and find maps—the scriptures, the church, a prophet—but even with these, the path here is difficult and many signposts are indistinct, or outright false. At times we may find it difficult to interpret the maps, and the path may become dim, our way unclear. We may become lost and uncertain of the trail. We may reach a dead end or a one way street when we need to go the other way.

On our trip to Los Angeles and so many times as we navigate around Los Angeles, we use GPS (Global Positioning Satellite) equipment to find our way. It has been invaluable and reminded me of how important the spirit of the Lord is in helping us navigate through life. It is an imperfect analogy, but I hope you will bear with me as I tell you my “Parable of the GPS.”

The first thing I noticed about the GPS is that its guidance was calm and unruffled. When we made a mistake and missed a turn or turned on the wrong street, it didn’t yell or scream at us or call us names, but instead simply said, “Recalculating.” The spirit never yells or gets angry. It only guides. How often in life when we see loved ones make a mistake do we yell at them and call them names, which only makes things worse. How much better would it be if we just reassessed our ways of interacting with them in the new situation, in a peaceful way.

We listened to talk on CD on our way here where a mother whose son was on the wrong track asked for counsel. She was continually telling her son all he was doing wrong and telling the Lord how to help her son. The counselor told her to “tell a chair (or some other inanimate object) all her frustrations with her son, and leave the Lord to take care of her son.” When she quit nagging and telling her son all that he was doing wrong, they had a much better relationship and she was much happier. When she stopped trying to counsel the Lord and trusted the Lord to do what was best for her son, she felt far more peace. She also talked a lot to the chair and that got rid of a lot of frustration.

Another interesting aspect of the GPS is that although we do not follow the path the GPS instructs us, and misses a turn, it continues to direct to lead us back onto the correct path. This is how Heavenly Father’s plan is and how He, the Savior and of course the Holy Ghost work; no matter how many times we make mistakes and turn away from them, they are always trying to guide us and bring us back to them.

I also noticed that sometimes when we strayed from the path, the GPS would make a circle round to the street we got off from, and we would be back to the original street we had diverged from. Other times, however, it led us a different way to the same destination. So it is with our lives. Sometimes we make mistakes or choices and lose certain opportunities that were only available at that time—school, missions, etc.—but the path the spirit leads us to allows us other opportunities that although not the same, are valuable. Perhaps we missed a mission as a youth, but serve a stake mission or a mission as a couple in our older years. Perhaps we missed attending one college, but attend another one later in life that was just as good, but we appreciate the education more at that point in our life than we would have earlier. Even when we make choices that aren’t the best, just as when we ignore the GPS, the Lord doesn’t abandon us when we return to him, and leads us in other paths that are good.

Of course this is not a license to sin, then repent and expect to receive all the blessings as though we had not sinned, but it reminds us that the Lord loves us, and desires to bless us with all the blessings we are worthy of.

Another thing I discovered about myself was that when I didn’t want to follow the GPS—such as when I accidentally put the wrong address in (I’d put the wrong city)—and it kept trying to direct me where I didn’t want to go, I became irritated and turned it off. I did not want to hear its constant telling me what to do when I wasn’t doing what it wanted. We are the same when we are going in a direction that is wrong and the spirit and others we love try to direct us back to the correct path; we become irritated at them, and eventually “shut them out.” We do this either by not listening to them when they talk to us about things we don’t want to hear or by eventually avoiding them physically.

Also, when we turn off the GPS for a while, or are in an underground garage or away from the satellite signal, it takes a few minutes to get it back again. It doesn’t automatically bounce back up immediately. So it is when we “turn off” the spirit; it takes time to bring it back. We must work at getting the spirit back, and be patient until we can communicate again with the spirit.

Another aspect of the GPS is that rarely do we see the whole picture at once as we do with a map. We see only until the next marker. It doesn’t show us what lies along the way only what is just ahead. I bought a map so I could see “the whole picture” --where we were in relationship to the area shown on the GPS--because I am a visual person. However, our spiritual GPS does not tell us how far we must go until a trial is over; we don’t know whether it is almost over or whether it will go on for many more years. It doesn’t tell us what is coming, happiness or sadness; we can only see until the next marker.

Also, the GPS needs power, just as our spiritual communication needs power. Neither work in a vacuum without effort or energy. The GPS uses electricity and radio waves attuned to satellite signals, while our spiritual communication uses spiritual energy, faith, keeping the commandments, and effort. Both can be easily blocked—by interference in the GPS’s case, by sin or negligence in our case.

My GPS parable is conditioned on the idea that the spirit of God is our personal GPS to help us navigate our personal path through life. We are still in charge. We still determine where we go and where we end up. The GPS can only guide—it cannot control our destination. We are the drivers of our destiny.

Our Children's Names

When we moved to Hawaii in 1978, six-year-old Marc stood up in Primary and introduced his siblings as, “My two sisters are named after goddesses, and my oldest brother is named after Shakespeare.”

Ed and I named most of our children original names. In fact recently on a Facebook application that rated how original your name was, Athena’s name rated an A- for originality based on the year she was born. And yes, I named my daughters after Roman and Greek goddesses as I wanted them to know they were daughters of god. I really liked the name Athena, that of the Greek goddess of wisdom, war, the arts, industry, justice and skill. I felt that the daughter I named that would be wise, industrious, skilled and a leader. (I ignored the war part.) Athena’s middle name is “Lee” just to make her name more euphonious.

Marlowe, our oldest, we named after Christopher Marlowe, “English dramatist, poet and translator of the Elizabethan era. The foremost Elizabethan tragedian next to William Shakespeare.” Also, many claim, the real author of the works attributed to Shakespeare. I’m not saying I believe that, but I was intrigued by the idea, and I liked the name—again it was a unique name. Marlowe’s middle name is James, after a famous early Dayley ancestor.
I’m sorry to say that not long after Marlowe was born, Marlo Thomas became the star of “That Girl” a famous TV show that made “Marlo” a popular girl’s name and for years Marlowe had to fight that battle. Now, no one remembers Marlo Thomas and the name has lost its feminine connotation.

Our third child’s name, Marc, is a common name, but we spelled it with a “c” on the end, rather than the more common, MARK. We liked the name and thought he was just a Marc so we named him that, (it is a common family name on both sides of the family), but I joked he was named after Marcus Aurelius, a Roman emperor, and philosopher who wrote the “Meditations.” Marc’s middle name is Edward after his father, and he is most physically like Ed.

Diana is a common name, but Wikepedia says “Diana is a feminine given name probably derived from an Indo-European root word referring to the divine. It is the name of the Roman goddess Diana, the goddess of the moon, the hunt, forests, and childbirth.” To me it is an elegant name. Diana’s middle name is “Lyn” with only one “n.” I felt that the “Lyn” part would make her name more unique! (Again, the short syllable “Lyn” between a three-syllable first name and two-syllable last name sounds better than a multi-syllabic middle name.)There is no other deep meaning to her name except—maybe all Dianas are special—like Princess Diana!

When Bryan was born we were living in Italy and although we knew his two names would be Bryan and Michael, we couldn’t decide whether to name him Michael Bryan or Bryan Michael or some variation of the two. The original Brian was an Irish King—Brian Boru, who thwarted Viking efforts to conquer Ireland in the 11th century and I knew that this new spirit was a Brian—a leader. I also knew he was a Michael also.

Finally we decided to use the Italian variation of Michael of his name because he was born in Italy, however, the correct Italian spelling is “Michelle,” (Me-shell) though pronounced “Me-Ka-lay.” I could not in good conscience name a boy MICHELLE so we compromised spelling it MIKELE which is pronounced “Me-ka-lay.” But we still didn’t know which would be his first name and which his second.
The day he was born he was so red-faced, so roly-poly, so hair so reddish-blonde, so Irish-looking that we knew he was a “Bryan” (spelled with a “y” rather than an “I” to be different). So his middle name became Mikele, which has really been better since its spelling is so unusual and different. (At least “Marlowe” and “Athena” were not difficult to misspell).

You might note that only one of our five children was named after an immediate family member—Marc who has Ed’s name as his middle name. Although I have my mother’s first name to live up to, and Ed carries his uncle’s first name, other than Marc, those names are not carried on. That is OK.

Shakespeare (or Christopher Marlowe) said it well: "What's in a name? That which we call a rose / By any other name would smell as sweet."

Would I be different if I were called “Alice?” Very few people call me by my first name, “Mary;” would I be the same person if I were called Mary instead of Beth? Would Athena be as strong willed if she were named Sue? Would Bryan change if he went by his middle name, Mikele? Movie stars routinely change their names; does that change them inherently?

Who knows? Not I! Why do we name our children the names we do? I’ve explained the reasons I named my children why I did so. Why did you?

A New Adventure

“But behold, I shall take these plates, which contain these prophesyings and revelations, and put them with the remainder of my record, for they are choice unto me; and I know they will be choice unto my brethren.
“And I do this for a wise purpose; for thus it whispereth me, according to the workings of the Spirit of the Lord which is in me. And now, I do not know all things; but the Lord knoweth all things which are to come; wherefore, he worketh in me to do according to his will.”
Words of Mormon 6-7

Sometimes our lives take such dramatic and different turns that it is unimaginable. That is what our life has done this past year. Last year at this time Ed and I were looking forward to going on our first cruise. Although Ed’s life wasn’t the best, we were both working and doing well. A year later Ed’s health is in the trash, neither of us is working, he is on a lung transplant list, and we are living in an apartment in Los Angeles waiting for it.

Last fall, a new show began on TV call “Flash Forward.” Its premise was that at a certain moment all over the world everyone collapsed, became unconscious and saw six minutes of their life six months in the future. For most it was a continuation of their normal life (and for those the show didn’t concern themselves), but for many, their glimpse of the future showed their life so different that they couldn’t imagine how it could come to pass. Sometimes how they thought it would happen was diametrically opposed to what would happen; in one case a racially diverse couple were contemplating marriage, but his parents were very opposed. The man had no flash forward, which he took to mean he would be dead six months later, but she saw herself in Hawaii with flowers and a beautiful gown walking towards what looked like a wedding scene, and his and her parents and many friends there. She insisted she was walking towards him as they were getting married. Finally after several months, etc., she realized that his parents would never attend his wedding, but everyone would attend a special memorial service for him.

Last fall when Ed was recovering from pneumonia and a bad bacterial infection and was at his worst, when the doctors kept saying there was nothing they could do for him, when physical therapy had not helped after three months and he had lost so much weight, and had to stop to rest three times just walking from the car to the house, I really began to afraid to envision our life six months in the future for fear what I would see. I tried several times a week to get him to go to Dick’s Market or Costco with me for 30 or 45 minutes to walk around, and even that was difficult with him holding on to the grocery cart which held his portable oxygen concentrator.

Then Ed’s lung specialist recommended a lung transplant, and began the process. At the same time, Ed’s health began to improve slowly. By the time we went to Los Angeles for the primary evaluation in early December, Ed was doing so much better I couldn’t believe it. By the time we moved to L. A. The beginning of January, Ed was even better. The pulmonary therapy program at the U. gave him a rave rating on his improvement on the last month, he had gained ten pounds, and he can walk quite a bit with his oxygen.

If I could have seen six minutes of my life now in L. A. a year or even six months ago, would I have believed it? Could I even have imagined it? I had never thought I’d ever live anywhere but my home in Centerville, yet here we are in a studio apartment a few miles from the Santa Monica beach and one mile from the temple. Why are we here? For a lung transplant of course, but the VA in Salt Lake does those for veterans, which Ed surely is, and the U. of U. routinely does them also. However, they don’t want to do a lung transplant on Ed because he’s over 65. And we’re at Cedar Sinai Hospital because Ed’s lung specialist trained here and knew who to recommend him to. There are many other hospitals he could have gone to—why here?

Prayer--Drawing Strength & Comfort from Heaven

Alma 31:38 “And the Lord provided for them that they should hunger not, neither should they thirst; yea, and he also gave them strength, that they should suffer no manner of afflictions, save it were swallowed up in the joy of Christ. Now this was according to the prayer of Alma; and this because he prayed in faith.”

Why do we pray for others? Because we care for them, of course. And sometimes it is the only thing we can do for others who are suffering or struggling and there is nothing physically we can do for them. However, we care about them so much we expend spiritual and emotional energy in praying for them.

Do our prayers make a difference? No one can definitely “prove” that prayers can heal, or help anyone you pray for although many scientific experiments have shown that those “prayed” about heal faster and recover quicker than those in groups who do not have people praying for them. But someone without faith will never accept such ephemeral proof, and those with faith don’t need such proof.

I know that prayers for others make a difference both for them and for us. I know that prayers can soften hearts, heal pain and hearts, bring comfort and illumination from afar.

We were living in Hilo, Hawaii, when my doctor found a lump in my breast and sent me to Honolulu for a biopsy. My mother and several of my aunts had had breast cancer at a very early age, so I was frightened that I might also have the same disease. I had prayed for comfort and had contacted my family on the mainland, but I was so discouraged that nothing anyone said or did cheered me up.

After my husband settled me in the hospital in Honolulu, he returned home to care for our four children. Medical procedures and tests kept me occupied most of the day, but they were completed by afternoon. I walked out to a balcony overlooking Pearl Harbor and struck up a conversation with a fellow patient.

The tropical sun shone on the shimmering waters as we watched the ships, but I was engulfed with fear and worry, so I saw none of the beauty. Then as I sat there, something wonderful happened to me. It seemed as if the black clouds of gloom parted and an immense shaft of sunlight coursed through me. I was filled with warmth and peace and something more—an assurance that my fears were groundless.

I spoke to the other woman on the balcony and announced, “I don’t have cancer!” She looked at me, startled. I couldn’t find the words to explain, so I said again, “I know I don’t have cancer!”

I was so relieved and happy that I slept soundly for the first time in days. The next day when the biopsy showed no cancer, I was the only one not surprised.

I called my family to tell them the good news. That’s when I learned that my entire extended family had fasted the day before, then gathered for a special prayer. Their prayer for me ended at the same time I’d felt the light break through my darkness and fill me with assurance. I am grateful that my despairing spirit was restored to peace by the power of prayer and that the Lord comforted me because of the united prayers of my family, who were gathered together so many miles away.

That was just one instance when I was the recipient of prayers in my behalf. There have been numerous other times when my pains have been lessoned and I have been healed, not just by my faith, but by the prayers and faith of others.

This past month has been another time when prayers of others have comforted and uplifted me far beyond my own capacity to understand. Since Ed was selected to become a lung transplant recipient, we have been thrilled, but our life has been in complete turmoil. Trying to get ready to move our whole “household” in a car; how to get things straightened out in the house for us to leave; how to leave Bryan at the mature age of 23 years old alone to take care of our house; how to contemplate the risks of Ed getting lung transplant; how to uproot my life and go to a new city and find a place to live—all those uncertainties threatened to overwhelm me.

But the prayers of all those family members and friends who care about us have sustained me, upheld me and given me such comfort that I didn’t stress. I didn’t question “what would happen,” or whether we would find a place to live, etc. I knew things would work out. And it has. And it will.

Do our prayers make a difference? Far more than most people know. Far more than most people can imagine. But people with faith know. I know that the prayers of others make all the difference in the world.

Review of My Retired Life

Before I can begin my new life, I want to review my retired life so far, and the goals I made at the beginning of it. Now that my life is making such a detour, I want to see how I fared in the beginning of my retired life, before it veered off into space. So I'll check off my list I made when I first retired and "grade" myself on how I did.

1. Sleep until noon. "F" I failed miserably! I was lucky if I stayed in bed until 8:00 unless I was sick. But that's okay. That was not only an unrealistic goal, but one I didn't really want to make. It would have wasted too much time! But it sounded so much fun when I was getting up early each morning to go to work. Getting up early when I can sleep in is even more fun!
2. Travel! I have to give myself a "D" on that. We did a little traveling, but it soon became apparent that our travel days were over. Other than a trip to Ed's high school reunion, and a trip to Branson, Missouri for Ed's 42nd reunion of his army flight school gradution (which we spent mostly in the hotel room watching tv as Ed was too sick to do much more), Ed's health quickly ruled out travel. In fact, it appeared that our days traveling by air were over!
3. Complete my projects--especially my sewing room, and organizing my stuff and cleaning out the basement. This is one of the few I can say I really accomplished--"B-" When we left this morning, my sewing room was completely organized, my craft stuff was put away and marked, all of my stuff was out of the garage, and I'd gone through all the boxes!!!!! The pantry was completely reorganized and cleaned. Of course, I'd completely remodeled the sewing room and pantry. But--drum roll--I'd also marked every shelf and box in the house with a letter and listed what was in it in my computer !!!!! If my memory fails when I come home, I can refer to my master list and look for my "spatulas" in "drawer ZZ" in the kitchen! Or, I can call and ask Bryan to look in "Box OF" in the garage for Grandma Chambers' genealogy to send me. Only one glitch--when we were moving the boxes out of the garage, we moved all the genealogy to the garage (and I'd marked it in the sewing room) and some boxes of unmarked sewing boxes into the sewing room.
4. I will exercise every morning! "F-" I tried, but I wore out my treadmill, and gave up! Enough said.
5. I will work in the garden an hour every day. "C-" I did pretty good, but then my pericarditis got bad because I was in the sun too much. I tended too work too much, too long, and not pace myself, but I did get quite a bit done.
6. Spend more quality time with my grandchildren. "D" This one breaks my heart because I really feel this one matters more than the others, but when they came in the summer they worked in the yard more, and after school started, Athena has been substitute teaching so they seldom get down to Centerville. As I said, I feel worse about this one than all the others. Now I won't even be around to work on this one.

Next I will have to make new goals for my New Life.